Page 86 of Grumpy Puck

She never was.

I should be ecstatic about that, and I mostly am, but a part of me is disappointed as well.Without the danger, there’s no reason for Calliope to stay at my place anymore.Not unless?—

“I really want to file a report,” Ted says pleadingly.“And get a restraining order against that asshole.”

Fucking fuck.“Fine.But you owe me, big.”

If cops are involved, I’m not going to be as free to enact my revenge on Jack, but then again, getting arrested and having the ridiculous story Ted just told me become part of the public record is a cruel and very unusual punishment in itself.

I can see it now: “Florida Man masturbates to gator, then kidnaps hockey team mascot.”

To my shock, there’s not a hint of mirth on the sheriff’s face as Ted rattles out his tale—as though shit like this happens here all the time.

“I need to get back to my dinner,” I tell everyone before the sheriff asks who I am and what my role is in this whole mess.The last thing I want is to get delayed for however long it’ll take Ted to file an official police report.

“How am I going to get home?”Ted whines.

Should I tell him his “home” was given to someone else?

Nah.

“How is that any of my fucking business?”I demand.

“It’s fine,” the sheriff says.“We’ll give him a ride.”

Whatever.I run for my car and return to the circus, eager to tell Calliope the whole story.To my relief, the dinner is still ongoing, but Calliope is missing from her seat.

And her family is staring daggers at me over their dessert.

Shit.For the first time, I realize that I left rather abruptly, likely offending them.

“What are you doing here?”demands the trapeze sister.

Fuck.I did screw up.“Sorry, I had to leave on important business.But I’m back.Where’s Calliope?”

The sister scowls at me.“Did you explain your ‘important business’ to her?”

Double fuck.“I was in a rush to resolve the issue that arose.”

And by “resolve,” I mean “break some bones.”

“Well, then, you messed up, big time,” she says.“My sister thought you hated our family.”

“Hated your family?”I look around.“The opposite is the case.”

“The opposite?”She arches an eyebrow.“That would be loving the Klaunbuts, and that’s a tough sword to swallow, even for Uncle Bruin.”

“Trust me,” I say earnestly.“For someone whose family abandoned him, seeing how much you all care for each other is a revelation.”And as I say the words, I realize that they’re true, and so is something else.

I don’t just love the Klaunbuts’ family dynamic.I may actually love one Klaunbut in particular, which is insane, given how?—

“Then you’d better go after her,” the sister says.“And hurry.”

Fuck.

She’s right.

As I run back to my car, I call Calliope, but she doesn’t answer.I text her as well—but I don’t get a reply, which isn’t a good sign.

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