Page 42 of Grumpy Puck

“Precious is lucky she left before the movie started,” I say.“There’s?—”

“No spoilers,” Michael growls.“In fact, why don’t we start the fucking movie before someone ruins it.”

In reply, a big screen scrolls down in front of us, and the film studio logo appears.

Midway through the first scene, we are ordered to buckle up for departure.As soon as we are allowed to unbuckle, Michael scoots over and envelops me in his big arm, short-circuiting my brain.

I refuse all drinks and food offered to me and don’t remind anyone about the Bloody Mary because I can’t be sure it will not contain Precious’s spit—or worse.I feel grateful I’ve seen this movie before because I doubt that I would remember anything about it other than the warmth of Michael’s arm.Not warmth, heat.Said arm remains slung over my shoulder all the way until the credits roll, by which point my ovaries have released a dozen eggs that are now all sunny side up in my uterus.

“Isn’t it suspicious that we’re landing just as the movie ends?”Dante asks.

“Coincidence,” Coach says.“This movie is two hours and some change, and so is the flight from Florida to New York.”

Everyone discusses this while Michael and I sneak out and jump into one of the waiting limos.

Once inside the vehicle, despite the obscene amount of room, we sit next to each other, so close, in fact, that I feel tingly again.

“I really enjoyed that movie,” he says as we get going.“Thank you.”

Movie?What movie?All I remember is his arm around my body, and waves upon waves of happy hormones.

I clear my inexplicably dry throat.“Are you feeling ready for the game tomorrow?”

He nods.“I’m going to crush Tugev.”

I chuckle.“Great.That totally doesn’t sound like something an evil villain would say.Not at all.”

He shrugs.“As you just saw in that movie, the line between villain and hero can be thin.”

Before I can reply, Wolfgang produces a short squeak from the rat carrier.

“Ah, right.”I take him out and allow him to perch on my shoulder.“Good job being patient until now.”

Wolfgang blinks at me.

Meine Liebe, the proper way to show your appreciation is with a generous serving of cheese.

“Fine,” I tell him.“I’ll order a cheese plate when we get to the hotel.”

The pack chirps excitedly.They seem to have learned the “c” word.

“You speak to them?”Michael asks.He doesn’t sound disapproving, like my ex was, merely curious.

I smile sheepishly.“They’re my friends.”

“I think I get it,” he says.

I examine him skeptically.“You do?”

“Why not?”he demands.“You still think I’m some sort of monster?”

Wolfgang’s ears perk up.He must’ve heard “Munster.”

“It’s just that you’ve never mentioned any pets,” I say.

“When was I supposed to mention it?”he demands.“After you slammed a pie in my face?Or after you made me play dead—like a fucking dog?”

I roll my eyes.“You forgot ‘after being molested with a giant foam finger.’”

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