Page 15 of Grumpy Puck

It’s Seraphina.

“Hey,” I say.“You act so much like a bat already.Are you adopting their schedule now?”

“How could younottell me you kissed a hot hockey player?”she demands.“I saw you last night—as in,afterit happened.”

I gape at the phone.“How could you possibly know that?”Did I talk to myself out loud yet again?And in front of her?I don’t recall doing so, but?—

“How could anyonenotknow?”she says.“It’s all over social media.”

Oh.Crap.The cameras from yesterday.But… “Who would care about us kissing?”

“The internet.They’ve labeled the two of you Honey and Boo Boo.”

“What?Why?”

“Something about both of you being bears,” she says.“You because you’re the mascot, and him because of his personality, and his first and last name.”

Huh?What’s his name got to do with it?

“At first, it went viral in Russian-speaking countries,” she continues.“That’s where most of his fans are.But then it started trending with hockey fans in general, and finally, everyone jumped on it.If this keeps up, you two could become as famous as Baby Shark.”

“Shit.”I walk up to my computer to check out what she’s talking about.

“Are you nuts?”she asks.“This is amazing.”

“No.I need this job, and this is a surefire way to lose it.”Not to mention, I don’t want to be forever associated with that mascot outfit—I want to be known for my rat show.

“You could leverage this for your show,” Seraphina says, as if reading my thoughts.“I mean… somehow.”

“More like, no way.”

“Hey, sorry,” she says.“Didn’t realize I’d be thebearerof bad news.”

“Was that a bear pun?”I demand.

“That’s nothing compared to the comments you’ll see online,” she says.“After you read them, you’ll need a minute to get yourbearings.”

I groan.

“You might also want to choke some of the internet trolls,” she says.“With yourbearhands.”

“Seriously?”

“The guy you kissed has a reputation as a bar-bear-ian,” she says.“Also, they say the two of you arepolaropposites.”

“Stop.Now.”

“Why?Is this getting em-bear-assing?”

“This isn’t funny.”I search for “Honey and Boo Boo” and gape at the number of views the video has.

“Bear with me,” Seraphina says.“I might getbear-y funny after a few more of these.”

I hang up right as she says something aboutbear-ly having started, and a bear’s right tobeararms.

The video I’ve pulled up is set to the song “Bi-Polar Bear” by Stone Temple Pilots.It shows our kiss, but it’s also interspersed with a bunch of other videos.Most of them are of Michael punching someone’s face on the ice or scoring a goal, but there’s also the video of me from a few weeks ago, capturing the time I got caught with Wolfgang hiding under my theme park outfit.

Fuck me.Until today, only theme parks had blacklisted me over the “rat incident,” but now the whole world knows about it.If I lose my current gig—which seems likely—I won’t be able to get a job in any industry where they don’t like rats, which is most of them.

---