Page 136 of If Only In Our Dreams

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” I said, making room for him in my life because it was simple. Making room for him in our lives—because it was what the girls and I wanted. “They want you there.”

“Okay,” Robin grinned, eyes scrunching up happily. “Then fuck yeah, I’ll come.”

It was effortless to kiss him then, to imagine a world where all of this was easy. Where we got to keep him. A world full of Christmases like the movies, haunted houses, and pets. A world where Robin Johnson was ours forever, my missing other half.

December twenty-third crept up on us a lot sooner than I would’ve liked. Robin never went back to the B&B, aside from the single time to gather his remaining things and officially move them into my bedroom. I made room for him inside mycloset and dresser, and he was so excited by that simple gesture that he’d fallen right to his knees and blown me.

Our mornings were a perfect mix of pancakes, toddler barbs, and Robin’s stories. He played with the girls like he always had—and now that he was officially unofficially living with us, had even more time to help coach Jane for the upcoming performance.

It was adorable watching him from the kitchen as he ran lines with the twins. Rosie had an easier time remembering hers, so she usually abandoned them only a few minutes in, but Jane remained just as stoic, just as serious as always.

“And Santa came down the chimney,” Robin repeated one night, waiting for Jane to echo him.

“And Santa came down the chimney,” she replied, voice quaking.

“With a big?—”

“With a big THUD!” Jane maybe screamed the last part, a little too loud, but Robin was not deterred. He clapped riotously, more than a little proud that she’d remembered her lines on her own—and spoken so loudly.

She had a hard time with that.

The speaking loudly part.

When Robin wasn’t coaching Jane, he was on the couch scrolling through humane shelter websites with Rosie. We all knew it was unlikely the pets they were looking at would be available come time to pick them up, but Rosie appreciated the time he took despite this.

It was an honor to watch Robin bond with my children.

And one night, only a few days before Robin was due to return to L.A. for good, I bit the bullet and asked him if I could tell people about us—Trixie first. He seemed surprised, probably because of our earlier conversation when I’d asked him if hewanted us to be a secret, and he’d said no—but otherwise just gave me a double thumbs-up and told me, “fuck yeah.”

“You’re dating someone?” Trixie’s voice was as soft as ever, quiet enough that even with the volume turned all the way up it was hard to hear her.

“I am,” I hummed.

I’d opted to call her on my last full day in office before the holidays. Obviously things happened, and as the town doctor, it was possible I still might get called in—but I liked to at least try to pretend my time was my own.

“What’s his name?” Trixie sounded as excited as I’d hoped she would. She’d always been my number-one fan. I missed her—especially hearing her voice like this—and I made a vow that the next time I went to L.A. I’d make a point to introduce her to Robin.

After I’d finished explaining the magic that was Robin Johnson, Trixie’s voice was somehow even softer.

“I’m happy for you,” she said, sweet as ever. “I really am.” She didn’t tell me how difficult it was going to be. Didn’t tell me about all the negatives of long distance—or lecture me about the age gap. All she asked was if he loved the girls, and when I answered yes—and told her he’d been more open with affection with them than he even had with me—she’d simply laughed. “I always wanted this for you,” she told me, cheesy as it was. “You deserve to be loved, Ben Montgomery.”

“I want it for you too,” I hummed, my heart fuller than it had ever been. “And ditto.”

“Wish granted,” she replied, an awkward lilt to her words that had me perking up.

“Trixie—” I jolted, more than a little surprised. “Are you seeing someone?”

“I am,” she hummed. “She’s lovely.”

“Oh my god.Bitch, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’tyoutellme?!” she countered.

I laughed.

For the next hour we chatted about our lovers, and it cooked up a scheme that I hoped would end well for me and Robin.

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