Page 72 of If Only In Our Dreams

“Thing was, Ididn’ttrust him—even though I wanted to.” Robin’s voice was this quivery, wild thing as he stared up at me. “Call it instinct. But when I showed up a day early to double-check with my own fucking eyes and it turned out the building he’d told me we’d be living in was fucking full already, I wasn’t even surprised.” Robin’s eyes never left mine. There was something raw and brittle twisting up inside them, like brambles and branches, covered in thorns.

His eyes said,he hurt me.

They said,he lied.

They said,I’m scared everyone else will lie too.

“He’d taken my money and was planning on running,” Robin’s voice was cold and dark. “So I went to his work, keyed his fucking car, and I just…” Robin trailed off.

“You just…?”

“I dunno.” Robin’s fingers curled in my shirt, gently tugging. “I guess that’s when I knew that people just…suck.” Robin’s words were dark and sad, but his actions betrayed him. He claimed not to trust people and yet, here he was, trusting me with his deepest, darkest secret.

Like he hadn’t even realized that’s what he’d done.

“Robin.”

“He was mydad.” Robin’s voice was shattered. “He was supposed to protect me.”

“I know.” I curled my hand around the back of his neck and squeezed. He glanced away, eyes lost. “He failed you.”

“Maybe it’s ’cause he knew I wasn’t worth it.” The words were muttered, quiet enough I don’t think Robin meant for me to hear them. But I did. “A part of me has always been scared I’d end up just like him.”

“Robin.” My heart thudded erratically as I waited for him to meet my gaze again. When he did, his eyes were hollow. “I may not have known you long, but I can tell you without a shred of doubt in my mind that if there is anyone on God’s green earth that deserved better, it’s you. You’re nothing like your father.”

“Youwouldsay that,” Robin countered, cracking a little smile. “Because you’re a teddy bear.”

A teddy bear?

I squinted at him but didn’t allow him to distract me, even though he made that difficult. “You are so incredibly sweet,” I said softly—always soft because I didn’t think anyone else had treated Robin gently. “You’re loyal. You’re thoughtful. You’retalented.” He flinched after each compliment like they were barbs.

Sweet, sweet baby.

How long had it been since someone was gentle with him?

Since someone loved him the way he so desperately needed?

“You’re a ray of sunshine,” I added, because it was true. “What your father did was not only an absolutely fucking horrible thing to do to a person, but also a literal crime. You didn’t deserve that. He should’ve taken care of you, not stolen from you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“You can,” I agreed, because he could. I’d never met a more self-sufficient person. You didn’t reach the level of fame he had without being incredibly competent. “But you shouldn’t have had to.”

He needed to understand that this wasn’t his fault.

“Trusting your father proves what a wonderful person you are.”

“I was naive.”

“You were achild,” I countered. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Trusting people…choosing to believe in the good isn’t weakness.”

Over the years I’d seen a lot of things. Both personally and because of my profession. I’d met a lot of different people with different backgrounds. I’d heard stories—stories thatchilledme, that hurt sometimes, that made it difficult not to believe the worst of people.

“The fact you still chose to give your father a chance, even after the lack of his presence in your life, shows how trulystrongyou are,” I added, because it did. “Despite everything you’d been through, you still chose to trust him. That reflects positively on your character, not negatively.”

“Even though he ended up fucking me over?”

“You can’t blame yourself for a choice he made.” My heart ached for him.

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