Page 30 of If Only In Our Dreams

I nodded, the heavy weight that had hung over me falling away. “Next time just call me an asshole,” I told him. “I really…” I sucked in a breath. “I really,reallyhated that.”

“Noted.”

Ben looked reluctant to let me go, and I didn’t know why.

Except…fuck, if I was being honest, I did.

He could probably see how bad I wanted him to hold on.

“I’m sorry for hitting you,” I added because I was.

“It’s okay,” Ben replied, tone just as soft. “Were you testing me?”

“Testing you?”

“To see how I would respond?”

I…hadn’t realized that was what I was doing. Maybe in a way, it was. Maybe I’d been burned enough in my life that I’d wanted to suss out if Ben would do it too, early on.

“Maybe?”

“Ah.” Ben’s voice was a quiet rumble, and his expression was fond. “I hope I passed.”

“You did.”

I hadn’t liked being ignored. But the fact that he hadn’t raised his voice or his hands meant a lot to me. Made me feel safer now that I knew he wasn’t likely to act rashly—as odd as that sounded.

Belleville was like an alternate dimension. People were…nice here without knowing my net worth. They smiled at me. They greeted me. They threw big-ass parties and brought snacks and treats—taking the time to bake, to dress up, to leave the goddamn house just to meet a stranger.

It was no wonder Miles fit in here.

But I…well… I wasn’t so sure I did.

Ben and I seemed to have a lot in common.

Like no matter how hard he tried, he was an outcast just like I was. Never quite sized to fit the cookie cutter this picturesque place expected. This encounter proved that. He may be soft like the other Bellevillians, but he had a backbone too. And he was odd—in a good way.

Helikedme.

Even after I’d freaked out at him for doing something totally normal—smacked his ass over and over and over—and followed him to work like a lost puppy.

Fuck, why did I hit him with the bone?

It was a testament to how much better I was feeling after my nap on his couch that I was even able to feel remorse at all. Usually it wasn’t till days later that the mortification would set in and I’d realized just how odd my behavior had been.

Aaaaand now I’d been weirdly quiet again.

Goddammit, Robin.

How did Ben not realize I was a walking red flag?

How could anyone put up with me for an extended period of time?

I was “too much” on a good day, and I hadn’t had many of those lately.

“Robin,” Ben’s voice was a quiet hum that broke through my spiraling thoughts. Something warm brushed the shell of my cheek and I jolted, startled. “Did you…” Warm, warm, warm, Ben’s hand pressed against my cheek, fingers brushing along my temple. Fucking Bigfoot hands, goddamn.

“Did I,what?”

---