Page 22 of If Only In Our Dreams

And then they both walked off.

While that had been an endlessly amusing experience, I was officially overstimulated and way too drunk to try to people anymore. So I said my goodbyes and headed outside like planned. I knew Miles would’ve tried to drive me if I hadn’t literally bolted out of the house, so I worked quickly, ducking out the back door and into the yard to avoid the worst of the indoor crowd.

It was fucking cold out.

The stars glittered between the black drooping branches of a large maple tree. An abandoned but well-maintained grill sat in the back corner of the leaf-strewn grass, and the shed in the other corner of the yard was padlocked shut. I had no doubt that the Johnson-Montgomery household had some picturesque lawn furniture locked away in there.

Something perfect and wonderful for the summer months.

Making a beeline to the darkest part of the yard, I sat on the edge of the fire pit, took a steadying breath, and tried to process the last five hours. Coming here was…a lot. Made me happy, yeah. But it made me sad too.

Mostly it just made me feel grateful.

To see that despite all my fuck-ups and our shitty upbringing, Miles had gotten exactly what he wanted.

He was so…happy here.

I was terrified of ruining that.

Like poison, I tainted everything I touched.

My nipples were hard and cold and uncomfortable, but I ignored that, curling into a tighter ball, the alcohol in my system making my movements feel sluggish and disjointed. My backpack felt impossibly heavy, everything that mattered to me packed neatly inside. Tingling tingles lit up my limbs as I closed my eyes and breathed.

I was only here for the holidays.

This wasn’t my home.

I knew that.

But what if…what if it could be?

Was there room for me here?

“You okay?” A familiar, deep voice echoed through the dark, lighting me up from the inside out. My eyes opened, and to no one’s surprise—especially not mine—Ben Montgomery was standing just a few feet in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him approach. His silhouette was lit up gold from the lights still on in the house behind him.

He’d disappeared for a while there.

It was only the presence of his children that had cued me in to the fact that he was still around. I hadn’t expected to see him again, but I was unsurprised that he’d come looking for me.

It’s like I summoned him with my mind.

“I’m fine, Benjamin Button,” I hummed.

He didn’t respond to this nickname either.

Which was…fun.

And also a fuckingchallengeif I’d ever heard one. Ben was full of challenges.

“You don’tseemfine. It’s cold. You’re barely dressed.” He stood there, awkwardly towering over me, and my heart gave a weird little flutter. “And you’re out here alone in the dark.”

Don’t hit on him, Robin.

Don’t do it.

“It’s just…loud in there, you know?” I offered the truth easily. “Lots of people. Not that that isn’t great, because it is. But my brain just—” I made a fizzling motion beside my temple. “And I’m…”

“You’re…?” Ben waited, as patient as I’d been with his daughter just a few minutes prior.

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