Page 127 of If Only In Our Dreams

Now, the room was bare, aside from the crew, the performers, and Ben.

It was a skeleton of what it would be, and yet…I felt high, almost.

My skin was buzzing.

Energy burst through my body, the excitement of the performance—despite the fact it was only practice—making me feel worth my weight in gold.Thiswas how I’d used to feel when I was on stage, before the nights went dark and the eyes became too much.Thiswas the reason I wanted to be a musician. To feel the music move through me, to feel it’s throb and ebb. The zap of electricity that shot through my veins every time I hit a note just right.

It was nice to feel it again.

I never wanted it to end.

“That was your best yet,” Nancy hummed when I finished the last set, gently giving my shoulder a squeeze. The band was already packing up. They were new people. No one from my previous tour. I didn’t even know their names, and normally that would bother me—but right now, I was too excited to care.

Ben clapped, as did the rest of the crew. I said my thanks, then stepped down, letting Nancy bark orders as I made my way toward Ben and his spot in the corner.

“You wereamazing,” he promised, his eyes sparking with heat.

“Oh?” My eyebrows shot up as Ben pulled me in close. Close enough his very hard, very delicious dick pressed againstmy belly. “Oh,” I repeated, lower this time. “I didn’t know my singing did it for you.”

“I didn’t either,” he admitted, leaning down so his breath was hot at the shell of my ear. I licked my lips, piercing clicking against my teeth when I bit down with a groan. “You do this thing…when you’re playing,” Ben hummed, voice crackling like fire. “Your hips push forward, and your pants pull tight?—”

“Jesus fuck.”

“Your pretty little cock has been teasing me all night.”

Suddenly, I could not fucking wait for everyone to leave.

The L.A. city lights spread out beneath our feet as Ben and I peered down black glittering glass into the streets below. My belly swooped the way it always did when I got this close. Despite the thickness of the glass and its safety, my body was still convinced I would fall.

It was past dark now. The crew had cleaned up and Nancy had given me a parting kiss on the cheek before leaving with a wave and a click of her high, high heels. I wouldn’t see her again until I flew in on the twenty-third.

The goodbye was as bittersweet as it’d felt when I’d first left L.A. to go to Belleville over a month ago. Only this time…something inside me felt more settled.

I wasn’t ice cold and praying for mercy. Wasn’t operating on half an hour’s rest and six cups of coffee. I hardly felt like the same person, even though I knew I was. Like the skeleton Ben had put back together for me, I had all the same pieces—only now that Ben had arranged me I was fundamentally changed.

The moment we were alone at last, Ben and I had poured ourselves congratulatory—in my case—glasses of wine before we meandered our way toward the window. And now here we were, what felt like miles above the city streets, and I was floating—but that had everything to do with Ben’s proximity and the promise of what was happening tonight, and nothing to do with the height of my penthouse apartment.

“You had fun tonight,” Ben said, and his voice was soft and sure as always. I hummed in agreement, sipping at my wine and tipping into his side like it was second nature. Even though I wasn’t sure it ever truly would be. There would always be a little part of me that was grateful for his warmth, that was made reverent by how solid and sure he was.

He’d coaxed me forward, gently, patiently.

He was careful with his words, with his gestures, never giving too much—always more aware of my boundaries than even I was. Like he had wiggled his way inside my brain. Like he was a part of me now.

We were different.

In fact, we had more differences than similarities.

Ben was everything I’d always wished I could be. He was steady and strong, dependable and loving. And yet being with him never made me feel like I was lacking. He was the first person in my life that I had let truly see me. The first person that I had no walls up with.

“Robin?” Ben’s lips were against my temple now, gentle and sweet. I realized too late that I hadn’t replied. He sounded worried. Which was fair, usually I was a chatterbox when I was with him. “We don’t have to?—”

“I am hopping on your dick tonight. Taking a one-way ticket to pound-town. Eating a full plate of eggs Ben-ad-dick.” Frowning, I added. “Ben-addict?”

Ben snorted, amused, and I was honored to experience one of his snorts against my skin. Felt weirdly tickle-y and very pleasant, if I’m being honest. “We can postpone,” he hummed. “If you’re not feeling well.”

“Why are you trying to cockblock me?” I twisted around, grabbing on to his face with my free hand and giving his cute little cheeks a pinch. His lips pushed out as I squeezed, and his eyes danced—though his concern was not gone entirely.

“You’re quiet,” he said, like me being quiet made him worried.

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