Page 26 of The Bratva's Auctioned Bride

Leaving her out there by herself, I knew I didn't need to worry about her trying to scale the fence or attempting to run away. It was far too high, and she'd never make it over, so I left her to sit with her thoughts instead.

Even if I didn't say it, and I posed it more like an optional thing, Lara would be going regardless. I wasn't going to go to that event on my own—especially not when the others needed to know I had the upper hand.

Chapter 14 - Lara

Alex's talk with me didn't act as much of a balm; at least, it didn't last long enough to be as effective as I would've hoped.

While it was somewhat of a relief to know that he wasn't necessarily targeting my brothers, or wanting to take them down in any way, it still wasn't much of a comfort to know he'd engage in some sort of confrontation if it came down to it.

I was worried about what that meant for my brothers, even if I had faith in them to handle themselves. Even worse, I felt worried for Alex, too.

Thinking about either side getting hurt only made my thoughts scramble more, and after a week of being in the house, left to try and grapple with the whole situation, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I was useless and helpless in the house. All that time went by, and my brothers still couldn't find me. Not to mention, I felt trapped between the two parts of me that continued to war—the one who wanted to hate Alex more than anything, and the one who wanted something more.

By the time Friday came back around, I felt like I was going crazy, and I didn't know how much more I could handle.

Lying in bed first thing in the morning with the sheets covering me, I was wide awake as I listened to Alex while he got ready downstairs. The whole time, I could only think about how little progress we seemed to make in connecting, and I had no way of knowing if or when we'd find a common ground.

I was still resisting him, even without trying to. I was angry with him for everything and angry with myself for being so attracted to him. Everything would be so much easier to push down and hate if he wasn't exactly my type.

As much as I wanted to ignore that desire in me, I wanted my freedom along with more of his genuine affection. Not his smugness or the nonchalant, aloof side he continued to show me. I wanted to see the real Alex, along with his vulnerability. I wanted to connect, even if it was in my best interest to stay as far away from him as possible.

Above all else, I wanted to stop feeling so many tumultuous things at once. I wanted to feel somewhat normal again.

Unable to push the thoughts away, I pulled myself out of bed, determined to catch him before he could leave for work. Moving quickly down the stairs still wearing one of the soft sleep sets he had bought me before I was brought to the house, I spotted him in the kitchen pouring himself a coffee.

Alex glanced over at me, looking surprised to see me there.

But before he could say anything, I was already speaking. "What do you want from all this?"

His brows just barely lifted, seeming caught off-guard by both my outburst and the question. "Isn't that a bit of a loaded question for this hour?"

"I don't care. Just answer the question," I returned, not interested in any of his deflections. "What are you hoping to get from this marriage?"

When I asked again, Alex seemed to straighten up more, taking it more seriously then. "I don't want it to feel empty, if that's what you were assuming."

Pulling in a breath, feeling a strange sense of determination along with my inability to hide it all any longer, I only looked at him. "If that is what you want, then I need more. From you...from this situation. Everything. Even if it's based onnothing, and even if we're grasping at straws, I need more from this marriage if it's going to work."

I hadn't been feeling the necessary warmth from him, as we had both been stuck in that strange place of being married, yet hardly knowing the other. Of not knowing what boundaries existed between us, and how we might cross them. Because of that disconnect, that part of me was resisting him, and I knew we wouldn't be able to come to any kind of mutual agreement if that continued to be the case.

Because of that, I still had my guard up, but something in me didn't want to be on the defense. I didn't want to feel like we were both always walking on eggshells.

"Is that how you truly feel? That I'm not giving you enough?" Alex asked of me, tone a bit more strained than I anticipated.

"Yes, that's exactly how I feel."

"Is providing you with comfort not enough? Am I being too cruel by giving you space and time to come to terms with everything? By not expecting anything of you, aside from cooperating with me on this?"

To my surprise, there was a hint of pain in his eyes—a twinge of hurt, likely at the thought of none of that being appreciated.

I met him halfway, still frustrated by everything. "It isn't about all of those things."

"Then what is it about? Please tell me more about how I am not enough for you," he said, lacking warmth as a hint of vulnerability seeped into his words.

My brows furrowed at that, startled for a moment by how he was taking it. As my frustration mounted again, I took a step closer, exasperated. "I don't want to feel like roommates! If we're legally married and you truly want it to be more than just a pieceof paper we signed, then there needs to be effort from both sides. It isn't enough to just exist in the same space as each other. If not, then you'll just be condemning me to a miserable life I don't want."

Something moved through his eyes then, as if I managed to strike a chord with him. Like a realization just hit him that I couldn't decipher.

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