Page 22 of Now You're Mine

I just stare at him. If he’s talking about the dark, suffocating feeling that’s pressing in on me from all sides, then sure. But there’s no way I’m admitting that in this room. “I mean, it doesn’t feelgreat.”

Christian snaps his fingers, pointing at me. “I’ve got a good one. This will tell us for sure.” He spreads his arm out, indicating the pool table. “If a Deb were lying here, naked, begging you to fuck her, would you do it?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a good one,” Lucas says in approval.

I look between Lucas and Christian. My instinct is to sayfuck no.All I can think about lately is Lux, and I doubt I could even get hard for another chick, at this point. I tested that theory not too long ago, and it didn’t end well. I was too focused on how the chickwasn’tLux.

There’s a tickle in my throat, and I clear it. “I’m not answering that.”

I’d outright lie, but these are my brothers, and they know me better than anyone. Lucas, especially. He can sniff out one of my lies from underwater.

Lucas points at me. “See! Fuck. I knew it.” He slams his fists on the armrest. “Iknewit.”

I lift my hands. “Whatever, dude. I just want to make sure she’s okay. What’s wrong with that?”

“Um, you’ve never given a shit about another chick before?” Christian answers, bending over the pool table to take a shot.

That’s not entirely true. I’ve cared about other girls before…tangentially. But Lux is different. She’s always been different. She is who she is, and she doesn’t give a fuck what I think about it. And there’s something magnetic about a chick who doesn’t need me, or my money, or my approval.

And if I’m being honest with myself, she brings out the humanity in me. I want to be betterfor her. I want to do the right thingfor herbecause that’s what she deserves.

But it’s too late for all that.

Months too late.

“I’m going back to my grandfather’s office,” I say because I’m so done with this conversation. “You said Nathan is outside her door?”

“Yup. He doesn’t have class tomorrow, so he said he’d keep watch tonight. The security company said they’d send a couple of guys out first thing tomorrow morning.”

I nod. “Good, thanks.”

I walk the ten minutes to my grandfather’s office. The sofa-bed is already pulled out, exactly how I left it earlier. It’s a visual metaphor for my entire fucking life—messy and painfully devoid of Lux.

I pull my hand down my face and stare up at the ceiling. How the fuck am I going to do this? Just move through each day, breathing, eating, livingwithouther. It feels impossible.

My cell phone pings.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I glance at the screen, breath held. Is it Lux? I’m caught between hope that she misses me and worry that something is wrong.

It’s Nathan.

Hey roman i’m on guard tonight ill let u know if anything happens

I stare down at his text and shake my head. Learn some fucking grammar, dude. Punctuation is your friend. I type out a quick response.

Cool, thanks.

With a sigh, I plug my phone in, toss it onto my grandfather’s massive mahogany desk, along with my wallet, and then fall onto the thin mattress. I don’t even remove my clothes. I just kick my shoes off the edge of the sofa bed, then roll over onto my stomach, and pull one of the pillows under my head, bunching it.

That’s a mistake.

The pillow was brought over from my bedroom a couple of days ago, and it still smells faintly like Lux’s shampoo. I hug it a little closer, burying my nose in the fabric. I inhale deeply, closing my eyes, and for long minutes, that’s how I fall asleep, with the scent of Lux in my lungs.

At some point, my phone rings. The sound jolts me awake, and I stand up and walk over to the desk to answer it. No one calls me, especially at this hour, so my pulse is already racing.

With the phone in my hand, I glance at the time. It’s two o’clock in the morning.Damn.The number lighting up my screen is unknown, but the area code is Malibu, so I answer it.

“Hello?”

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