Page 27 of Now You're Mine

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Roman

Her words slicethrough me with the sharpness of a blade. I blink and shove my hands into my hair, tugging on the strands. I’ve been doing that so much lately, I swear I’m going bald. I pace my bedroom, my mind working a mile a minute.

Until Lux came along, I approached every problem with cold, hard logic. Take steps A, B, and C, and get X result. But when Lux walked into my life, it was like she cracked open a part of me that had been hidden, buried deep. Emotion. Fear.Love.

She deserves more, though, because my dad was right. I’m fucking worthless. A coward. When my brother was in trouble, I chose the selfish option. The easiest option. And look at the destruction that caused.

I have to make this right somehow.

“The guys are looking for him now. This campus isn’t very big, so it’s only a matter of time before they find him. But in the meantime, Jackson’s family has a cabin in Big Bear. They just bought it, so James doesn’t know about it. You’ll be safe there.”

She shakes her head. “I told you, I have class. The security guys can–”

“I can’t, Lux,” I interrupt, raising my voice in frustration. “I can’t trust them to keep you safe. From pissed-off internet trolls, sure. But not from my brother. He’s…” I can’t bring myself to finish that thought.

Leaning forward, she narrows her gaze at me. “If you knew your brother was so dangerous, why did you convince me to keep him out of jail?”

It’s a fair question, but she doesn’t know everything. I lower myself into the wing-chair in front of the fireplace and lean forward, forearms resting on my thighs. “My brother convinced us you were crazy, Lux. A spurned girlfriend who wanted revenge. He said you two had a fight, and you exaggerated events so you could have him arrested. He kept us away from court proceedings, told us not to read the court documents…”

“And you just believed him?”

I lift my hands. “Who wants to believe someone they love is capable of something so fucking twisted? I couldn’t face it.” I pause, looking over at her. “And it was easier to blame you.”

Worthless.

Coward.

She nods slowly like she’s taking it all in. Whether she believes me or not, though, I don’t know. And the not knowing is what kills me.

“So what changed your mind?” she asks.

I lean back in the chair, tilting my head back, and raking my hands over my face.Fuuuck.Why is this so hard? Maybe it’s because believing her feels like a betrayal to my brother. Everyone in James’s life has abandoned him, and now, even me.

Believing Lux means my brother is now completely alone.

And honestly, for a long time, I just couldn’t face the fact that the brother I’d idolized and molded myself after could be so dangerous.

I drop my hands, determined to tell her the absolute truth, no matter how badly it paints me. I owe her that much. “I visited James in jail once a week, at least, and uh…he’d give me letters to give to you. Each letter became more and more unhinged, more rooted in some kind of fantasy. He loved you some weeks, others he hated you…” I swallow. “It’s like I could see him slowly unraveling right before my eyes. And then when you told me your story about the incident…I mean, at first, I was pissed, because your version was so drastically different than his. But as the pieces came together, I slowly started to realize that he needs real help. Likeactualhelp. I thought maybe he could still be saved.”

She nods slowly, listening. “So knowing he was unhinged, you put him in a facility that he could just…” She shrugs. “...walk right out of.”

“It’s not like that, Lux.” Except, it’sexactlylike that. I’m the reason she’s in danger right now. I picked the facility—I mean, fuck, Ibeggedmy dad to get James a bedandpay for it. And to appease my mom, I’d deliberately looked for the least restrictive facility available.

No one is to blame but me, and even if there’s no change between Lux and me, I have to fix this shit. I have to. I can’t walk away knowing my brother is out there and still hung up on her.

She’s silent for a second, probably just absorbing all of this. And I watch her as she looks down, toying with the edge of the comforter. She’s so fucking beautiful, her long lashes resting on the curve of her cheek, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. I itch to touch her, hold her. Tell her I’ll make everything okay...

Fuck, how I want to see that smile stretch across her face again.

“I’m sorry, Lux.” The words just tumble out of my mouth, and I can’t stop them. “I’m sorry I put you in danger. You didn’t deserve any of this. If I could take it all back, I would.”

Her gaze flicks up to meet mine, and she sighs, her expression softening. “It is what it is,” she says, but there’s a sadness in her voice that launches a shard of despair straight through my chest.

“Come away with me,” I say. “And after we find my brother, I’ll walk away. I swear.”

I have no idea how I’m going to fucking do that, though. Just the thought of not seeing her makes me want to shove my fist through a wall. I’m already plotting ways I could bump into her, or keep tabs on her without her knowing.

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