Page 63 of Don't Look Away

I sink down onto the mattress, still in a bit of a daze. Would it be either if Roman weren’t the father, though? Things are already so complicated between us, and this is only going to complicate them more.

“Are you okay?” The concern has returned to Wyn’s voice. She’s a good friend. Better than I deserve. I’ve been such a hot mess lately, I’m not sure why anyone would be my friend right now, honestly.

I flash Wyn a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you. You’re a good friend.”

She takes a step back and grabs her backpack, which is probably why she came into the room in the first place. “I’m heading to class, but text me if you need anything. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

I swallow. “Okay, thanks.”

“Just remember, you don’t have to make any decisions today, okay?”

I nod, tears prickling the backs of my eyes again. “Okay.”

“And this is a bit of unsolicited advice, but you should probably tell Roman sooner rather than later. That way it’s done and over with.”

“He knows it’s a possibility already, so hopefully it’s not a complete shock,” I say.

It was still a shock for me, though, and I don’t really know why. I guess I never really thought this could happen to me. I should have been smarter about it, but—

Shaking my head, I force the thoughts about whatshould have beenaway. Beating myself up isn’t going to help my situation. Wyn is right, I need to take a second to absorb the blow, then get my shit together, and strategize.

“Okay, well, text me. Let me know what he says.”

Then with a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder, she’s out the door, and I’m alone again, which I immediately decide I don’t like. Alone means I have time to think, and my thoughts immediately stray to Bree. What would she say about all this? What advice would she give me?

The tears fall again, silently this time. I have an afternoon class, but I need a shower, and something to eat. Once my class is over, then I’ll go see Roman. I just want him to hold me. As crazy and toxic as shit is between the two of us, when he pulls me into his arms, I feel safe.

Part of me wonders if I’m just being naive, though. I’m not very trusting these days, but in the past, I’ve been known to put my faith in the wrong people. Well, the wrongperson.Singular. Dr. Cunningham takes pleasure in reminding me that that wasoneinstance andoneperson. Still, I question my own judgment sometimes.

A bit later, I’m just stepping out of the shower, and toweling off when my phone starts ringing. It’s strange for anyone to call me, except for my grandmother, so I pick my phone up. It’s the private investigator I hired weeks ago. I know it’s a bit of a long shot, but hopefully, he has some information for me.

I suck in a deep breath, my hair still dripping. “Hello?”

“Ms. Anderson, Dave Harrison here. I have some information for you…”

CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX

Roman

The last coupleof days have been absolute hell without Lux. She’s every fucking thought that enters my mind. Where is she? What is she doing? Does she hate me after what happened at the initiation ritual?

I drop the weight I’d been pressing, struggling to catch my breath. The ocean and the gym in my basement are the only two places I can find a small degree of solace, a brief reprieve from the constant, churning thoughts that consume me.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve managed to stop myself from texting her. I’d come close a couple of times, but my father’s words always come back to haunt me…

You’re a worthless coward.

The brave thing would be to let Lux go. I know that logically. Lucas and the guys are right. This shit with Lux has gotten way out of hand. I have enough self-awareness to realize that. But none of this shit was supposed to happen. I was supposed to seduce her, and after I’d gotten what I wanted, discard her, just like Ash said.

But in the middle of all that, the impossible had happened. I caught feelings. I caughtfuckingfeelings.

I’m such an idiot.

Worthless.

With a grunt, I pick up another set of weights and start doing reps until my biceps burn.

“Yo, Roman.”

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