Page 54 of Don't Look Away

Then I feel his finger slip between my thighs to touch my core. “You’re wet,” he says in surprise. “Do you like being paddled, Little Rabbit? And here I hoped it would be a punishment.”

I squeeze my eyes shut out of pure embarrassment. The entire room doesn’t need to know how wet I am, or what my kinks are. But that’s the point of all this, right? To humiliate me. To lay me bare and show everyone whose boss.

He drags that wetness up the length of my slit to my back entrance, using his finger spread it around the rim. Then I feel it, the tip of his cock, pressed against my ass. I don’t even have time to prepare before he shoves his cock into me. I gasp, my back arching.

Holy shit.

He pauses for a second, allowing my body to adjust to the sheer size of him. It shouldn’t be done this way. Ass play is a process. I’ve only done it once, but even I know that. The last time he fucked me like that, he applied lubrication and prepared me a little. But I have a feeling this raw animalistic coupling is all a part of my punishment.

He shifts his hips. “This act,” he says, thrusting slowly–pulling himself out, before pushing back in. The sharp pain begins to subside and I relax a little. “consummates your forever bond to the society–” He leans forward and speaks directly in my ear, “–and to me.”

I ball my hands into fists and squeeze my eyes shut, my body rocking to the rhythm of his thrusts. The discomfort melts into an odd sort of pleasure, and I give myself to it. I don’t have any other choice. I’m completely at Roman’s mercy.

He grips my hips as he continues to thrust, filling me to absolute capacity. I shouldn’t like this. I should feel used and humiliated, but there’s something about everyone watching us that sets my blood on fire.

My cheek is pressed against the leather cushion as Roman’s strokes lengthen, and his blunt fingernails dig into my hips. As he continues to thrust, his mouth is still pressed against my ear, so I’m the only one who can hear him. “Let anyone touch you again, and I’ll slit their fucking throat. Do you hear me?”

I nod, swallowing past the whimper that’s caught in my throat.

His warm breath brushes across my cheek. “Say it, Lux. I want to hear you say you understand.”

“Yes,” I choke out, my voice emerging faint and breathy. “I understand.”

“Good girl.” His hips jerk against me, and he drives in deep. So impossibly deep that I’m afraid he’s going to split me in two.

And despite myself, something inside me begins stirring to life. Excitement. I’ve always tried to keep to the shadows, but Roman fucking me in front of everyone,claiming mein front of everyone, sends a jolt of electricity straight through me. I feel like I’m just starting to wake up from a deep sleep.

My clit is throbbing, and I have to stop myself from reaching between my own thighs to relieve the tension. If I weren’t in a room full of people, then I might do it.

His hips piston against my ass, and I can tell he’s close because his strokes are shorter, harder, and more focused. Then he grips my hips tightly and tugs me against him in one, final, violent thrust. He holds me like that for several seconds, groaning loudly as he pours himself into me.

Then abruptly, he pulls out of me, tugging my robe down over my ass as he takes a step back. I just lay there, struggling to catch my breath, listening to him zip his jeans back up. The room is stone silent, and I wonder for a second if everyone has left. But I turn my head, and see the circle is still intact, everyone standing there, stunned by what just happened.

“There,” Roman says, addressing the room. Rage drips from his tone. “She’sfuckinginitiated. Happy now?” I half-turn on the table and watch as Roman stalks to the hidden door. Just before he leaves, he turns and looks directly at me, hatred flickering in his eyes. “Welcome to the Burning-fucking-Crown. Now you’re just as fucked as the rest of us.”

The second he leaves, the room comes back to life, and my attendant rushes over to me.

“Are you okay?” she asks, her voice filled with concern.

I straighten. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Lucas calls everyone to attention to finish the ceremony. He recites something in Latin, and they bring a crown into the center of the room to set it on fire, then the circle shifts, making space, accepting me into their fold. But as I stand among them, the embarrassment starts to set in. I was just humiliated in front of all these people. And the fact that I enjoyed it is evenmoreembarrassing.

Compartmentalize,I tell myself.Disconnect from the embarrassment. You did what you had to do.

Lifting my chin, I try to focus on Lucas’ closing words, but it’s all in Latin, so I have no idea what he’s saying anyway. Once it’s all over, the circle closes in on me, embracing me, welcoming me, murmuring words of congratulations.

Before everyone can disperse, my attendant gathers me up, guiding me out of the room, and back to the changing room. As soon as the door is closed, she takes off her mask.

It’s one of the girls I’ve seen around before, but I don’t know her name. She must guess at my thoughts, because she smiles, and says, “I’m Ashley. I don’t think we’ve ever formally met.”

I nod and flash her a tight smile. “Thank you for your help in there. Now I see why both Roman and Wyn advised against going through with initiation.”

My entire body is bruised and battered, but I survived it, right?

She peels my robe off me, and I resist the urge to cover my naked body. She just saw all of me, anyway. Everyone did.

“It’s not meant to be easy. You have to prove your loyalty to the society, and that requires sacrifice,” she says, grabbing my clothes and bringing them over to me. I pull my underwear on first, wincing at the pain. I skip my bra because my back still stings.

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