Page 39 of Don't Look Away

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

Lux

Wynand I are standing in her tiny shared bathroom, standing over three separate pregnancy tests, using the flashlights on our phones to analyze them.

“Is that a line?” Wyn asks, her nose practically pressed against the result window. She points to something that looks like a shadow. “Right here. See it?”

My heart is in my throat as I pick the test up and bring it to my face, angling it to see if I can catch the alleged line in the light. There is a very faint, barely-there line. “I see it,” I say past the bile rising in my throat. Why does it suddenly feel like I have too much saliva in my mouth?

“I don’t really see anything on these other two tests, though. So that’s got to be a good thing, right?” Wyn asks.

I swallow, and set the test down, turning to lean against the bathroom counter. “I don’t know what it means,” I say truthfully. “I guess I just have to be patient and wait for the blood test to come in.”

Waiting two days, though…God, that’s going to be torture. And I’ve never had a great game face, so Roman is going to know something is up. He can read me alarmingly well.

Wyn runs her fingers through her long hair, twisting it at the ends as she avoids my gaze. “So, what are you going to tell Roman?”

“Nothing.” I gather up the tests, the boxes, and the instruction sheets, tossing them back into the plastic bag from the pharmacy. “What would I tell him anyway? I still don’t know anything.”

Wyn blinks at me, and I know she’s reading me like a book. “You’re afraid to tell him.” It’s a statement, not a question. “Why? He’s just as responsible for this as you are.”

I tie the bag closed tightly, and move past her into the hallway. I don’t want to tell her that I’m afraid this will make Roman look at me differently. Less desirable somehow. I know it’s ridiculous, which is why I don’t dare voice it. “There’s nothing to tell him, Wyn.”

“Let me have the bag. I’ll throw it away in the kitchen.” She takes it from me before I can give it to her. “Listen, Lux…”

I lift my hands. “I’ll tell him,” I say defensively. “If the blood test comes back positive, then…I’ll tell him.” But even as I say it, I’m not sure I would. Honestly, I’m just trying to get Wyn off my back.

“Okay.” She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug. “Everything is going to be fine.”

I hug her back, trying like hell to keep the tears at bay. She thinks the test will come back positive. Otherwise, why would she be saying this? And if I’m being honest, her reaction is scaring the fuck out of me.

“Thanks, Wyn. You are a really good friend.” I pull back and sniff. “On another topic, I’ve been thinking about going through with the initiation ritual.”

Wyn stiffens, and her eyes go wide like she’s both shocked and alarmed by my announcement. “What? Why?”

Her reaction confuses me, and I lift my arms, likewhat the fuck?“Aren’t you the one who suggested I become a fully-fledged member?”

She pulls me into her bedroom, which is just off the hallway. Tossing the bag of pregnancy tests on her bed, she turns back to me. “Okay, yes, originally, I thought that would be a good idea, but…” She gestures to my stomach, “Considering this…possible scenario…initiationisn’ta good idea.”

I tilt my head to the side. “How bad is this initiation ritual?”

She pushes out a breath and glances away. “You know I can’t tell you that. But, just know, it’s rough.”

I shake my head. “And you made it through okay, right? Listen, if I do this, then the members might actuallytalkto me, and I might actually get to the bottom of what happened to Bree.”

“Okay, but it’s not like you’re going to suddenly know everything,” she says, trying to convince me that her great idea from a couple of days ago is now a horrible idea. “There are still things that only the Sacred Sons know.”

“I’ll be accepted into the fold,” I say, like that’s the end of it.

Wyn deflates like she knows trying to convince me against doing it is futile. “Okay, just promise me one thing, tell Roman about the tests, and that you want to go through with initiation. See what he says.”

Okay, she’s accepted defeat, but she’s hoping Roman will talk me out of it. How bad could the initiation ritual be? It can’t be anything illegal, or truly dangerous, right? They wouldn’t risk accidentally killing someone and having to explain that away…

However, that brings a thought to mind. “You don’t think Bree was trying to be initiated, do you?”

Wyn looks at me like she’s trying to figure out what I’m getting at. Then she shakes her head. “No, any new members have to be vetted, nominated and voted in by the Sons before it even gets to the initiation ritual stage. You guys had just arrived on campus, so there wasn’t time for all that. What happened to Bree was something else.”

I nod, satisfied by her answer. Bree would have tried to become a member, I know that for sure. She was so wrapped up in being accepted on campus, on being a part of the elite. But in the note her roommate found in her room, she seemed afraid of the society. She wanted to get away.

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