Page 38 of Don't Look Away

I see the concern on her face, and I know she’s worried about my brother, but she keeps her voice light like she doesn’t have a worry in the world. I blame that on my dad. She’s never been able to show him any real emotion. Any hint of anger, or concern, and he gaslightsthe shitout of her, making her feel guilty for having any emotions at all.

I take out a pan and start frying up some eggs. “I came to talk about James.”

A look of worry flashes over my mom’s face. “Is he okay?”

No, he’s definitely not okay.But I don’t say that, because I don’t want to worry her. Instead, I start laying out the new plan for James. I can see the discomfort on her face like just thinking about putting my brother into some kind of mental health facility hurts her. Yeah, welcome to the fucking club. But it’s our best option at this point.

“Amental healthprogram?” she repeats, wincing like the words leave a bad taste in her mouth. Her eyes begin to water, and it looks like she might cry. “He doesn’t need that. He’s fine. This was all just a…a misunderstanding.”

I plate up the eggs and start cooking the bacon. “Mom, this is the only way. They have the victim’s statement, and God knows what else. This is the best possible scenario.” I pause, allowing those words to sink in. Thankfully, she looks more resigned than combative. “Can you convince dad to pay for Lockly?”

Lockly is a five-star inpatient facility that looks more like an elite hotel. It’s right on the beach, with elegant French cuisine, tennis, spas, and world-class counselors….you name it. But it’s expensive as hell. I’m talking NBA player expensive. A-list movie star expensive. And for that price tag, we’d need Dad’s buy-in.

I turn off the stove and place the eggs and bacon in front of Mom. “Don’t make that face,” I scold, now in the position of parenting my parent. “You need to eat something.”

She adds some salt to the eggs, and scowls at me, before taking a small bite. “Your dad and I share a bank account,” she says between bites. “I don’t need to ask his permission.”

I place the pan and spatula in the dishwasher. “You may need his pull to find a room for James on short notice, though. There’s usually a waiting list.”

Mom sighs as she bites into a piece of bacon. She wouldn’t normally eat this much food, but she’d feel guilty refusing something I made for her, and I use that to my advantage.

“Dad hasn’t been home for days,” she says. “And he’s not answering my calls.”

I push out a breath. Of course. Dad has always been like this—leaving for days, or weeks on end, shaking up with his women, before tiring of them and coming back home. I don’t know why Mom puts up with it, but when he does finally stumble home, he showers her with gifts and attention, so maybe that’s the reason. Who fucking knows.

Mom chews her bacon, then pushes her plate away, and I push it right back. “Eat,” I command.

She sits back from her plate and looks up at me. “I’m the parent, remember?”

I don’t say anything. I just blink at her.

With a sigh, she takes a couple more bites, then picks her plate up and sets it next to the sink. I’d argue with her, but it’s more than she’s eaten in weeks, I'm sure, so I let it go.

“I’ll get him a bed at Lockly,” she says turning toward me. Crossing her arms over her chest, she pins me with that motherly stare. “On another subject…”Oh, shit.What now? “I’ve heard through the grapevine that you havea girl.”

That catches me by surprise, and on instinct, every muscle in my body tenses up. Mom knowinganythingabout Lux is a fucking problem.

Despite my heart crawling into my throat, I try to keep my voice even, and nonchalant. I grab a piece of bacon off her plate by the sink and pop it into my mouth. “Who told you that?” I ask between bites.

“A few people, actually,” she says. “You forget, this corner of Southern California isn’t that big.”

Still leaning against the counter, I look down at my shoes, because I can’t quite meet her eyes. “I always have a girl, Mom. I’m not sure why that’s so surprising.”

“People say you’re really into this one.”

I look up at her and flash her a tight smile. “People make up all kinds of shit. Don’t listen to the noise.”

She steps forward and places her hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes. “I’d like to see you settle down with someone nice. You need someone who can keep you in line.”

Lux definitely fits the bill, but my relationship with her was fucked before we even set eyes on each other, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I push off the counter and look down at my mother. “Where can I find Dad?”

She pushes out a breath. “I think he might be at Exeter House,” she says. “Next week he heads off to France for business.”

Business. I almost laugh at the word. Dad inherited his money from my grandfather, and he has investments, but he hasn’t worked a day in his fucking life. I think my mom pretends he’s working so she doesn’t have to confront the truth—that he’s fucking around.

This is where James gets his wild romantic notions, from Mom. She’s the ultimate romantic, despite being married to a world-class narcissist. She wants to believe he still loves her, and she holds onto the fantasy that they’re still happily married with white-fucking-knuckles.

“I’ll talk to him,” I say, kissing her on the head. God knows how this conversation will go, but I have to try…

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