Page 75 of Say It Slowly

“Lux, you’re not safe,” I say. I want to tell her that Tyler was working with someone and that someone obviously wants her hurt. But I can’t say that in front of Ash.

Ash speaks up then, the fucking cunt. “No worries man. I’ve got her. You can go back to whatever frat party you came from.”

Keeping my anger in check with Ash so close to Lux, acting like he’s her protector, is nearly killing me. But by some miracle, I manage to keep myself in check, but just barely.

“Ash,” I say, finally acknowledging him. “Can you give us a minute?” I pause, and dig deep into my soul…“Please.” Ipractically vomit the word, but I can see the shock on both Ash and Lux’s faces.

Ash glances at Lux, and she nods once, giving him the okay to leave. Wow, she really is a queen. She’s already got Ash and me wrapped around her fucking finger.

Ash doesn’t look thrilled, but he starts walking toward the house nonetheless. “I’ll be right inside if you need me.”

“Thanks,” Lux says, her gaze never leaving mine. Once the sliding glass door clicks shut, she crosses her arms and shifts her weight. “Okay. What do you want to say?”

God, whatdoI want to say? I’ve never been in this position before. I’ve never had to explain myself, let alone to a girl I’m supposed to hate.

“Yeah, I’m not sure what I can say, Lux.” I take a step toward her, and she stays put, holding her ground. “But I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Her stance is rigid. Guarded. “Is he dead?”

“Yes.” I take a step toward her, but she shakes her head and I stop. “It had to be done, Lux. He wasn’t going to stop coming after you.”

She nods slowly like she hears what I’m saying, and all the tension drains from my body. But something inside me says it’s not going to be that easy. Not with Lux.

“And someone was helping him,” I say. “Someone who obviously wants to hurt you.”

She has no response to that.

“Come back to the house,” I say. “Let me take care of you.”

“That’s not going to happen. Against my better judgment, I trusted you, and then I walked in and saw—” Her gaze falls to my hand, free of blood now, and she shakes her head, unable to finish that sentence. “...so forgive me if I’m not interested in being a part of that.”

I resist the urge to grab her arms and pull her against me. I need to touch her, to feel her, to listen to the air entering her lungs. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lux.”

Not yet.The words flutter across my mind uninvited.

She shrugs, arms still crossed. “You should leave.”

There’s a long, awkward silence as I wait for her to take back her request. When she doesn’t, I do the only thing I can do—the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, I turn around and leave Lux with the guy I hate most in the world…

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Lux

As I watchRoman disappear around the side of the house, darkness washes over me. I feel like I’ve stumbled into a black hole, and the only person who can dig me out is Roman. But he’s just as likely to bury me as he is to save me.

He tried to warn me about the darkness inside him, didn’t he?

It’s fucked up, I know. Roman isn’t good for me. I’d probably be much happier with someone like Ash–someone who is actuallynice. But, I don’t know, there’s something pulling me toward Roman, something I can’t shake, no matter how hard I try.

And the look on his face just now, pleading, vulnerable, absolutely gutted me, even knowing what I know. That’s how fucked up this whole thing is. You’d think leaving would be easy after what I just saw…

Once Roman is gone, Ash comes back out onto the patio. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Ash nods but doesn’t press me for the details. “You hungry?”

I shake my head, suddenly so tired. “Would you mind if I lie down for a while? I have class in a couple of hours, but I could really use a nap.”

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