Page 58 of Say It Slowly

No. I’m not okay. I’m losing my tether to reality. It slips away from me a little more each time she looks at me like that.

I walk over to the railing, and hold onto it with a vice-like grip, sucking in the crisp ocean air. I pull it into my lungs several times until I feel like I have a little more control. My cock is still rock hard, but my heart rate begins to slow.

Seconds tick by and I catch her in my periphery, standing beside me. She looks hesitant like she’s approaching an injured animal on the side of the road. “Roman, what’s wrong? You need to tell me.” Her voice is thick with worry. “Look, I really am sorry for—”

I grab her arm, moving so quickly, she gasps. I pull her close, squeezing her arm so tight, I fear it might snap under my iron grip. Pressing my lips against her ear, I whisper harshly, “Sorry isn’t going to help you, Lux. That shit in there was childish.”

That seems to irritate her because I hear a scowl in her voice. “You know, Roman, I can do whatever the fuck I want.We’re not even together,” she says that last bit slowly, like she’s talking to someone who doesn’t understand English. “For real, you need to snap out of this delusion.”

I smirk. “Not together,” I repeat, likethat’s bullshit. “I have a feeling you wouldn’t be saying that if it were me sitting with another chick in there.”

She answers with her own smirk. “Are you kidding? I’dbeganother girl to take you off my hands.”

I pull back to study her face. She doesn’t mean that. Shecan’tmean that. But all I see looking back at me is the same hatred I felt for her. Except, in my case, the more I get to know Lux, the more I hear her story, the more that hatred is being chipped away.

FUCK!

How is this even possible, that I’m more into a girl than she is into me? This is bullshit, and not at all part of the fucking plan. I push her away from me, and she stumbles a little, catching herself on the railing. “Roman…”

Pushing my hand through my hair, I turn and head back into the restaurant, not even brave enough to look back at her. I just leave her standing there, confused as hell.

Coward.

Our section of the restaurant is completely silent as I walk up to Lucas. I flick my chin in the direction of the patio. “When you’re done, take her back to the house, will you?”

Lucas looks at me like I’ve spontaneously sprouted horns. “Yeah, sure. No problem. You good?”

“Fine,” I bite out, then I glance at the booth where all the girls are sitting. I scan each girl, then pick the one that looks most like Lux. No idea what her name is, but she’s got a little more meat on her than the rest of the girls. Nothing close to Lux’s amazing ass or tits, but maybe she’ll do. “You,” I say, pointing to her. “Come with me.”

The girl perks up, like she’s been picked from the audience of a damn game show. From my peripheral vision, I see Lux walkback in, just in time to see this random chick climb out from the booth and follow me out.

Fuck her, though. She said—with complete fucking sincerity—that she’d beg someone to take me off her hands, so here we go. Wish fucking granted.

And, you know what, maybe this is what needed to happen. I can’t do what needs to be done with Lux until my mind is clear, until I drive out this goddamn obsession that grips me.

“Where are we going?” the girl asks excitedly as she slips into the passenger side of my car. She’s wearing a dress that’s at least two-sizes too small, and way too much makeup.

I get into the car, and start the engine. “What’s your name?”

“Jen,” she responds cheerfully.

She’s way too perky, and I’m already exhausted.

“Well, Jen,” I sigh, “have you ever done an exorcism?”

She looks confused, her pink lips pursing. “Like, with ghosts?”

I peel out of the parking lot, and head toward the main road. I’m being cheeky. Of course she doesn’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, but she’s about to find out…

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Lux

My cheeks flushwith anger as I watch Roman leave with that other girl. I mean, sure, I’d looked him dead in the eye and told him I wished another girl would take him away, butfuck.Did he have to beso quickto call my bluff? What was that, thirty seconds?

Jealousy burns hot in my chest as I make my way back to the tables. Everyone is watching me, whispering to each other as they try to figure out what just happened.

I walk over to Elliot first. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have involved you.”

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