Page 40 of Say It Slowly

I can.

I have to. I have no other choice. After I’ve gotten what I need from her, I’ll cut her out of my life, like I’ve cut out every other person, with exception of my brothers: Lucas, Christian and Jackson.

When I roll up to Rush House, it’s a riot, per usual. Even on a random Tuesday evening, it’s a party at my place. People are smoking on the front porch, lights flashing inside, music pouring from the windows. I guess it’s a good thing we don’t have any real neighbors to speak of. The only people who might complain is campus security, but they don’t seem to give a fuck.

I pull in the driveway and park, then walk through the backdoor. There are about a dozen people in the kitchen, drinking. Someone is making mac n’ cheese on the stove, and it’s boiling over, so I reach over and turn off the burner.

“Roman!” someone calls out.

A member, Tony, comes up to me, and grabs my arm. He’s obviously stoned. “Damn, dude, you missed the show.”

I remove his hand, and stretch my arm. I can only imagine what he’s referring to. “Yeah, I’m cool missing Christian breaking his own beer pong record for the third time,” I say, bored.

“No, no!” One of the Debs steps forward. She sways, clearly drunk. “Your girl. She threw her Ramen against the wall, then kicked Nicole out!”

She relays the story like she knows the facts will anger me. But I can’t make sense of what she’s saying. Why the fuck would Lux kick one of the Debs out of my house?

“Where is she?” I ask impatiently.

“I don’t know,” the chick says. “When Lux kicked her out—”

“I don’t give a fuck about Nicole,” I interrupt. Goddamn, these people. “Where’sLux?”

No one can answer that, though, and the chick just continues with all of the offenses that were inflicted on Nicole. “She wascrying, and you know what, she really didn’t say anything that was—”

I wave her off, pushing past her. “I really don’t care. I’m going to bed.”

People are talking, trying to tell me what happened, but I’m not even listening. Seeing my brother has taken it out of me, and God only knows where Lux is. I’ll shoot her a text as soon as I get up to my room, and for her sake, I hope she answers.

I make my way to my bedroom, and when I step inside, I notice the lights are off. She must be gone, and I mentally prepare myself to leave and go find her. I can’t allow her to run around on her own, especially at night, and especially with that dipshit Tyler lurking around campus.

But when I flip the lights on, I see her lying in my bed, tangled up in the sheets, hand on her stomach, asleep. Her head is turned to the side, mouth open slightly, anddamn,she looks so beautiful like that.

I approach the side of the bed with the intention of shaking her awake, but my hand stops midair as my gaze roams over her. She’s dead asleep, like she hasn’t rested for days, and her body has finally given in. Even with the loud music downstairs, she’sout.

I take the opportunity to study her. She has no makeup on, but that doesn’t matter. She’s a natural beauty. Smooth, flawless skin, and pink, bow-shaped lips, perfect for nipping, and biting.

My gaze continues down her body, to the swell of her breasts, the soft curve of her stomach, and the flare of her hips.

Fuuuck.

I curl my hands into fists at my side, resisting the urge to touch her. I could fuck her right now. She might fight me initially, but I know I could have her. In my current state of mind, though, it would be violent. And messy.

Tearing my gaze away from her, I head into the bathroom for a cold shower. Honestly, I really just want to wash my brother’s warning off me.

Once you get a taste of her, you’ll always want her.

Yeah, too fucking late for that. But as I step onto the cold shower tiles, I congratulate myself for walking away from her. See? I’m not like my brother. He can’t control his obsession, but that’s where we’re different. I can. I just walked away. I can’t be obsessed if I walked away.

I can just hear my brother now, inside my head.You’re a delusional cunt. Sleeping beside her without touching her is thetruetest.

I shower quickly, towel off, then find my pajama bottoms and tug those on. I’m not quiet about it. Maybe I’m secretly hoping she wakes up, so I can suggest a hotel room. When I thought up this whole scheme, I didn’t consider actually having to sleep next to her.

Roman, you’re an idiot. You fucked yourself.

My own voice this time. But…facts.

Fortunately, my bed is huge, and two people can comfortably sleep on it without ever even bumping into each other, so there’s that. I turn off the light, then slip into bed, tugging asliver of sheet over me. She’s got most of the sheet tangled between herthick thighs, and damn, I’ve never wanted to be a piece of fabric so badly in my life.

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