Page 21 of Rescuing Ryder

Whiskey laughed which made Ryder mad.

“You find this funny? I know you went through some shit and got miraculously cured here on this majestic mountain. I’m not like you. I can’t forget.”

“Who says I forgot? You’ve stayed here a few days; the first hard moment, you’re ready to pack up and leave. Or does this constitute the effort you promised Tex? A few days into it, you already know it’s like all the others.” Whiskey voiced his thoughts precisely.

“I didn’t say it’s like the others. You can’t fix everyone,” Ryder spat angrily.

“Especially when you’ve decided you aren’t worth saving,” Whiskey quipped.

Ryder sighed and shook his head. “I know. It’s only been eighteen months, and I haven’t ‘healed.’ Maybe I don’t want to feel all that crap again. I don’t want to believe in ghosts, but they’re right here with me every damn day. Their voices still run in my head and I don’t want to hear them anymore. But if I didn’t, I’ll know they left me,” he ranted.

Whiskey remained quiet, giving him time to quiet down. The man didn’t deserve to get yelled at for coming to do his job.

“Do you have another one of those?” He nodded his head toward the beer on the table.

“Yeah, I’ll grab ya one.” Ryder started to rise.

“No. I’ll get it. I used to stay here; I know where everything’s located.”

A minute later, he sat down with a cold one in his hand. “If you don’t mind, I want to share some of my story. I remember coming back and sitting right here thinking the same thingsyou’re considering. You’ve already decided on a solution to fix yourself.”

Ryder met his gaze, his jaw clenched before he turned his head in shame.

“The last thing I remembered was watching my brother fall after getting shot and then a huge explosion. I remember jumping to cover him. When I woke up, I knew the enemy held me prisoner, and the team searched to find me. I didn’t give up hope until months turned into years, and I believed them dead. Nobody knew I existed. When I spun up, my wife, Samantha, expected our first child.”

Ryder leaned forward as the haunted expression on Whiskey’s face grew deeper.

“One day started as the last few hundred. Then, in the evening, Leo burst into the hut and found me. At first, I believed I dreamt the entire thing. The beatings, the starvation, and the abuse tend to weigh you down. What haunts me most are the screams of the women brought into the camp. I don’t know how they enticed them to join them, but the evenings always ended in rape and death. They pleaded for help and I could do nothing to save them, and it tears at my soul to this day.”

Whiskey stopped and drank as his dog curled beside his chair. Ryder sat back in his chair, gripping the arms. Whiskey knew the helpless feeling he felt as he watched his brothers die one by one in agony.

“We returned here and I didn’t want my wife to know I existed. I resembled a bag of bones. Critters crawled all over me. I didn’t want people to touch me. I wanted to be left alone. Samantha accidentally discovered me and blamed Kassie. We seemed to be strangers to each other. Leo shouldered the blame for taking so long to discover me. I felt enraged because he didn’t leave me there and let the people I loved and cherished the mostlive their lives. I caused my wife heartache and divorced her. She almost moved on.”

As if the dog sensed Whiskey’s tortured emotions, Hope raised her head and whined at her person. Whiskey smiled and petted her in reassurance.

“The darkness consumed me and I did stupid things and thought the solution you’re considering would end all my pain. Something kept me from pulling the trigger. I’m grateful I chose to fight. We’re expecting a wee bairn. I’ve spent precious time with my son. If I’m struggling, this mountain holds family who’ll come at a moment’s notice. I fought for the love of my wife and child. Now, I fight for my family, friendships, and men like you who can’t escape the darkness. You’re in the pit of hell, but I promise you, brother, if you’re strong enough to withstand the journey, you’ll discover the light.” Whiskey and his dog stood, and he placed a hand on his shoulder. “When you choose to fight the demons, we’ll stand beside you. You’re part of our family and we take care of our own.”

Ryder watched Whiskey exit the cabin. The heavy weight on his chest lifted slightly, and for once, his gut didn’t churn at the dread of another day. Maybe these people understood him more than he thought. He closed his eyes, and Gunner’s face came to mind.

The only easy day was yesterday, man. Come on, you can do this.

“If only I held your confidence. We did everything together. How can I go on knowing you’re gone? Patty and the kids miss you. Why couldn’t it be me?” he whispered into the darkness. “You had a family and friends who loved you. I don’t.” He released the pain he felt inside.

Then, find something worth fighting for…the voice inside his head argued.

Ryder rose from his chair and went to his bedroom, negotiating with the ghost in his head. What chance did he have of finding something to make his life worth fighting for?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Claire pulled the manual out again and reread the instructions. The glass refused to close correctly after she cleaned the dust and debris off the gas fireplace. Finally, removing it completely, she flipped the switch to experience the first fire in her home. Nothing. She slapped her hand to her forehead and groaned, thinking the idea of being a homeowner had become the most stupid thing she had ever heard. At least when she rented, she picked up her phone and called someone, then voila!

Giving up, she poured herself a glass of wine and entered her study. Earlier, she dusted and polished the built-in bookshelves until they gleamed in the light. Taking out her razorblade knife, she cut the tape on the box and began organizing her books. She loved the classics; her parents bought her first editions for every holiday and birthday. With the books unloaded, she tore down the box for recycling and started on another. This one didn’t have a room assigned to it, which she thought odd, considering she packed everything. Shrugging her shoulders, Claire sat down and cut the tape. Flipping the lid back, she pulled out an envelope and ripped it open. Unfolding the paper inside, her heart pounded as she read it.

Your new home is lovely. Sleep tight, Claire. I’ll see you soon.

Her hand flew to her chest, and Claire rose from the chair as she determined which windows and doors remained open. Her pace quickened as she remembered the French doors and the windows upstairs. In full-blown panic, she struggled to recall what she instructed her patients to do in moments of crisis.

The air refused to enter her lungs as she raced to grab her purse and keys. Where did she last leave her cell phone? She left it in her bedroom. Claire scampered to the back of the house and snatched the phone from the bedside table. She fled to the front door and flung it open, thinking of staying at her office on the mountain.

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