Page 54 of Rescuing Ryder

Kassie sighed. “Ryder’s changed since he arrived. Like Whiskey, his PTSD won’t change overnight. He started PT with the team, he’s attending sessions with the group, and forming a relationship with Whiskey. I don’t think he intends to self-harm. He’s still cautious and hasn’t sorted out all his feelings. Given time, I believe he’ll recover, especially if he discovers a purpose beyond his dreams.”

Claire swallowed, her heart raced and she gazed at her friend. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

“For a head shrink, you’re slow at catching on when it concerns your life. Ryder has feelings for you. I believe you feel the same way by the way you clung to him. You’ve known us longer and have come to trust the men of Serenity. Yet when you felt overwhelmed, you ran to Ryder. I know of only one thing that can bring someone lost into the light. It can heal better than any medicine or treatment we can offer. Love is the only thing worth fighting for. The question remains if you’re willing to risk everything to discover it.” Kassie rose and took the dishes to the kitchen before leaving.

Stunned, Claire continued to sit on the porch. Did she love Ryder? She thought of their time together. Her nose scrunched as she recalled how he insulted her home at every opportunity. He acted brass. He didn’t mince words or put up with bullshit. Over the last week, the Serenity crew relieved him while he went to therapy and sessions.

When he returned in the evenings, he threw a load of laundry in the wash and, to her embarrassment, hung her underthings in the shower, exactly as she did. Her friends always helped her bathe before he returned. In the evenings, he laid out her pajamas and busied himself in the kitchen while she changed her top. When she got to the bottoms, she felt dizzy bending over. He miraculously reappeared and covered her midsection while he slipped them down her legs, asked her questions about her day to keep her from feeling embarrassed, and then slid her nightwear up. Ryder helped her stand and she held onto his chest while he pulled them over her hips. As if reliving the moment, she thought she hung on to him a bit longer than necessary while she smelled his warm woodsy scent.

He made her feel safe. His hands lingered at her waist a moment longer than necessary. Did it mean anything? Since the first day he held her in the bed, he slept in the chair beside her, claiming his accommodations were far superior to other places he slept. He always knew when she woke and appeared within minutes of her stirring. Did he find a purpose in taking care of his patient?

Rising, her hand shot forward as she used the wall for balance as she went to her bedroom. Her fingers traced her lips as she imagined his pressing against hers, making her mouth tingle. She pondered over everything Kassie said and wondered if Ryder felt a case of transference as she heard him admit to Kassie at the hospital or if he experienced something else.

Her phone rang from her pocket, and she sat in the chair beside the bed before pulling it out.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Claire. It’s Dr. Gregory Klein. I returned to my office to discover you tried to contact me. I called you, but the woman who answered your phone stated you were indisposed. I saw the news. I’m assuming you’re calling about David Kilner.”

Claire let out a sigh of relief at hearing her colleague’s voice. “Hi, Dr. Klein. Thank you for returning my call. How’s your mother? I’m assuming you went to visit her. Your secretary mentioned you were out of the office for a couple of weeks.”

“We admitted her to a care facility after taking her on a small trip. I’m afraid her mental state took a turn for the worse,” Dr. Klein admitted, resigned.

“I’m sorry to hear it,” she sympathized. “If you’ve seen the news, you’ll know there’s an ongoing investigation concerning David Kilner. I reported his packages and letters to the police. They assured me he remained under lock and key.”

“I’m sorry, Claire. The whole situation sounded dreadful. Did David say anything to you?” he asked.

Claire closed her eyes. “Kilner wanted to kill me. He mentioned the deaths of his wife and mother. He appeared angry we testified against him.”

“It’s good your friend stopped by and it sounds like he saved you from certain harm. I can’t imagine how you must feel.” Dr. Klein expressed concern.

Claire sighed and hoped he didn’t mind if she used him as a soundboard. “It’s still overwhelming to think he came into my home while I slept.” She paused. “I’m having trouble sleeping.”

“Oh, Claire. Have you scheduled an appointment with a therapist? Maybe talking to someone might help. I’d prescribe therapy if you came in as my patient.”

Claire closed her eyes, knowing he spoke the truth. “I know. It makes me feel like a failure when I’m one of the head physicians at the hospital and I can’t help myself.”

“You’re too hard on yourself. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you meet me for lunch? We’ll go someplace quiet and conduct a small session. We’re colleagues, and no one will be the wiser,” he offered.

“Thank you. I’m coming to Seattle to see a specialist for my eye, and I'm hoping he’ll release me. Once he does, I’ll set up an appointment,” she promised.

“I’ll wait for your call then. Can I do anything for you until then?”

“No. I’m well taken care of. I’ll call you soon and I’m glad he didn’t reach you,” she assured him.

“It’s pure luck I left when I did. I’m sorry you caught the brunt of his anger. Call me soon, Claire. I insist.” Dr. Klein pressed.

“I will. Thank you.” She hung up the call as Ryder appeared.

On seeing him enter, her heart skipped a beat and her throat went dry as she recalled the conversation with Kassie.

“Hey, Claire Bear, I’ll put dinner on in a few minutes. The team asked if they might speak with you. They’ve gathered in the living room. Do you feel up to talking to them?”

She sucked on her bottom lip.

Come on, you big baby. You can’t avoid the room forever.

“Sure,” she murmured softly.

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