Page 44 of Loving Lizzy

Dr. Safder narrowed her eyes. “Elizabeth, I’ve known you since you worked as an administrator here. You’ve always radiated confidence and independence. Cancer tends to knock people off balance. Have you experienced any depression or anxiety?”

Elizabeth mulled over the question. “I’ve dealt with some anxiety over what’s coming next. I struggle because I can’t control any of this.”

“Yes. You and I share similar views in that respect. I suggest you go to a session or two and see if the therapist can give you suggestions on how to handle the anxiety. Next week we’ll start the chemo. We’ve gone through the side effects. I’m assuming Dr. Harris or Kassie will accompany you to the appointments and drive you home? Someone will be staying with you?”

Lizzy nodded. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Don’t hesitate to call me if you have any issues and fill those prescriptions before your appointment.”

Lizzy exited the office and set up her next appointment. She stepped out of the checkout area to find Michael sitting in the waiting room.

“I thought you wanted me to text you.” she told him as he opened the door, leading her out of the office.

“I finished what I needed to do. Are you ready to return home? We’ve got a couple of hours before meeting Kassie and I need to run an errand. Can I drop you off at the house?”

Her mouth parted in surprise. He barely left her alone and now he seemed almost eager to get rid of her. “I’ll throw in some laundry, and I want to finish the book I’m reading.”

Michael led them to the car and turned toward Serenity. His recent quiet acceptance of their situation disappeared and appeared replaced with an excitement she missed seeing in him. Knowing she caused his change in demeanor by pushing him away added to her guilt. She felt the rift between them and didn’t know how to repair it without baring herself to him. She barely faced the ugly scars herself; she didn’t think she could handle the repulsion on his face if he saw her.

Now she dug them into a bigger hole. She insisted she shower by herself and locked the door. Every week she promised to address the elephant in the room and every week she struggled to face him. Now six weeks had passed, and she missed him holding her in his arms and feeling safe. When he reached for her hand, she pulled back, afraid she might crumble and tell him how much her loss bothered her and how scared she felt about his reaction.

The ride home stayed silent until they pulled into the driveway of their home.

“I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he told her as he helped her out of the car and ensured she made it up the steps.

She watched as he pulled out of the driveway and turned down the next street wondering if one day, he’d leave her for good.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Kassie sat down at the table and watched Michael’s face as Lizzy took the seat next to her, leaving Michael to sit alone on his side of the table. She frowned in Michael’s direction letting him know she picked up the disconnection between him and Lizzy.

“We invited you for dessert because of your schedule, but if you have time, we can eat an early dinner,” Lizzy informed her as she picked up her menu.

Kassie pulled the phone from her purse and texted Chase. “I didn’t plan on coming this late. My new admission took a bit longer than usual. I’ll see if Chase can make his way down. He came home earlier to take Em out for a ride, and they picked up Melody to go on the nature walk so Catherine didn’t have to go far from the house. She volunteered to help the girls put their projects together on poster board. Chase might be back at the house by now.”

Lizzy elbowed her friend and nodded toward the opposite side of the restaurant. Carol and Frank Benson chatted with their heads leaning over the menus. Michael turned to see what the women seemed preoccupied with when Joe and Jake walked into the restaurant.

“Hey Little Bit.” Joe leaned over and kissed his goddaughter.

“Hi, where’s Maddie? Hi Jake.” Kassie beamed at the men as Joe made his greetings to Lizzy and Michael. Jake, however, seemed distracted by the sight across the room.

“Maddie stopped at Bryanna’s to share a recipe and will be joining us in a moment.” Joe nodded as the hostess sat them at the table next to the trio.

“I thought Carol said she was busy today,” Jake grumped.

Joe glanced at Jake and over to Kassie, who seemed suddenly engrossed in her menu.

“She seems busy visiting with Frank Benson.” Joe put his napkin in his lap. Maddie opened the door to the restaurant and immediately went to greet her friend.

Jake’s eyes narrowed as Carol and Frank laughed at something Maddie said. Maddie walked across the restaurant and Joe stood to pull out her chair before taking his place beside her.

“I didn’t realize how funny Frank can be. Kassie, can you be a dear and watch Melody for Catherine on Wednesday? Frank wants to take Carol to a movie and dinner in Seattle. She already volunteered to watch Melody and Catherine and Leo want to attend a birthing class Leo found.”

“Why does he need to take a birthing class? He does know she does all the work and she’s done it before,” Jake grumbled as he watched Carol lean forward intently listening to something Frank told her.

“Of course, Melody’s welcome to join us. Jake, Leo missed Melody’s birth. They want to experience everything they missed the first time.” Kassie ordered water and checked her phone as the server took Michael and Lizzy’s order.

“Chase can drive down for an early dinner. He says he’ll need to return to the hospital afterward to finish some paperwork.” Kassie stuffed her phone back in her pocket.

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