Page 5 of Loving Lizzy

“I admit I made a mistake. This is my second diagnosis, what if I end up fighting this over and over? Either way, I decide I hurt you by staying with you, or I die and leave you all over again. I know how hard you took your mom’s suffering and her death. She fought bravely, and it still wasn’t enough,” she told him softly.

Taking her hand, he led her to the only chair in the room. He sat down and pulled her into his lap.

“Lizzy Bee, listen to me. Regardless of how this turns out, I’m sticking by your side. I’ll stand behind any decision you make regarding your treatment. In return, I get to decide how much I can handle. You don’t get to assume how I feel. All I want from you is a promise. When you want to run, you walk into my arms. When you’re scared, you lean on me. And I’ll vow to always tell you the truth,” he negotiated.

“What about your practice? Serenity isn’t as big as Seattle. We don’t even see the doctor for another two days and you’re already sacrificing your career,” she sighed.

“I’m not giving up anything. Kassie offered me a job working in the teen ward. The kids are under the age of eighteen and I overheard Chase asking the guys about finding projects. I don’t know all the specifics, but he hinted that a local construction crew Kassie uses slows down on jobs since it's winter. It might give them an income if someone took over this house and turned this area into a pediatric practice. The way the team’s expanding, I imagine I’ll have a bunch of rug rats to keep me occupied.” He smiled.

Lizzy surveyed the room, and he watched as her busy worker bee mind got to work planning the needs of his office.

“What about kids? I know you want them,” she sadly asked.

“Yes. I do. It doesn’t matter how we get them. In my practice, I’ve seen such neglect and abuse, there are children out there who need stability and a place to feel loved. We can provide them with a home and a chance at a better life. We’ll do it together, Lizzy Bee. Let me be here for you,” he cajoled.

She sighed. “I’m scared. If I allow you to stay, you’ll give up everything to remain by my side.”

“I’ll give up anything for you if it means you’re with me. While we’re on the subject, I want you to promise me honesty,” his voice turned stern. “Have you avoided making love with me because you knew I’ll discover your lumpectomy from before?” Michael waited as he saw her cheeks redden. Since they’d found each other at Seattle Health when he helped Chase and Leo get Kassie and Emma to safety, Lizzy allowed him to hold and kiss her, but refused to go to bed with him. The only explanation he came up with was she wanted to take things slow.

“You’ll know right away. I’m sorry. I wasn’t honest about it. Between weeks of worrying where you were, if the rebels killed you, and Conner’s sudden death, I didn’t handle the situation adeptly. I went over the last few days wondering what I did wrong. When I went to the doctor and received the first diagnosis of breast cancer, my first thoughts drifted to your mom and you. We already suffered greatly.”

“I forgive you. Going forth, we do this together. I want us to get remarried. I don’t like the fact you aren’t my wife,” he insisted.

She shook her head. “No. I’ll promise to stay with you, but until we know what we’re dealing with, I don’t want to make plans. Let’s take this day by day.”

“Lizzy—” he sighed.

Her finger pressed over his lips. “Please. Don’t pressure me on this. When we know we got a shot at a second chance, then we’ll revisit this again.”

Michael stared into her eyes. “I’ll compromise. I love you, Lizzy Bee.” He caressed her cheek before pulling her face to his and kissing her.

“I love you,” she whispered and prayed with her whole heart one day they’d have a chance to plan their future together.

CHAPTER THREE

Lizzy gripped Michael’s hand in the waiting room as they waited for the oncologist’s team to call her name. She scanned the room. A woman huddled in the corner by herself. A scarf wrapped around her head and her cheeks appeared sunken in. Another lady proudly showed off her bald head and wore a pink sweatshirt with breast cancer survivor embroidered across the chest. A man sat in the middle of the room with his wife, clearly uncomfortable.

The medical assistant opened the door and smiled as she called, “Mr. Carpenter.” The man rose and pecked his spouse on the cheek. She whispered furiously in his direction, and he shook his head. After the initial surprise that the man fought the disease, Lizzy knew exactly how he felt. He wanted to keep his wife from any pain. Michael leaned over and kissed the side of her head.

“Remember our promise. We’re in this together,” he murmured.

Another nurse came into the waiting room. “Elizabeth Jacobson.”

She stood, licked her lips, gathered her purse and began to follow the nurse down the hallway. Her stomach twisted in knots, and her heart beat faster. The urge to turn and run from the room, denying the reality of the situation, tugged at her. Michael’s arm tightened around her waist in a comforting gesture.

“We need to get your weight and vitals and then Dr. Safder will be in to talk to you,” she instructed.

Lizzy stepped on the scale while the woman wrote on her chart and directed her into a room. She never realized how dismal these office walls seemed and made a mental note to inform the new administrator who took over her old job. It screamed of hopelessness and despair to her.

She held out her arm as the nurse checked her blood pressure and oxygen levels. When she finished going over Lizzy’s list of allergies, she turned to leave. “Dr. Safder won’t be long.”

Michael stroked her back, consoling her as she tried to breathe in through her nose and out her mouth. Her palms felt sweaty, and she rubbed them up and down her pantsuit.

The door opened and a beautiful Indian woman with brown hair and warm green eyes greeted her.

“Hello, Elizabeth. I’m Dr. Safder. I received the images from your doctor, and we’ll discuss the results together. Why don’t I go over what we know and then I’ll answer any questions you have?”

Michael stuck his hand out, “I’m Michael and will be coming to Lizzy’s appointments, we signed all the HIPPA forms, so I can stay informed of her medical records.”

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