Page 37 of Loving Lizzy

Michael swiped his hair with his hand. “Damn it, Lizzy. You asked me to leave, and did it after I left. Kassie told me you took it off, I’m assuming you did it before she arrived. What if you fell? No one was here to support you through it, not to mention it’s still swollen and draining. It probably appeared a lot worse than it will be in a few weeks. You did it all alone…” his voice drifted off. He felt more upset she didn’t ask him to help her and hold her while she saw the fresh wounds along her chest.

“Again, I wanted time to absorb the shock of it. After all it’s my body and my decision,” she bristled at his questions.

“You’ve made that quite clear. It seems like we always come back to this. Please tell me where I fit in this journey. I realize you’re battling cancer. Your friends come and give you sponge baths, help you get to the bathroom and keep your spirits up. I fully admit I’m grateful to them for thinking ahead because I concentrated on getting you home. What do you consider me now? So far, I’ve delivered a meal to you. At twenty-three hundred, Catherine will take over. You’ll go to the bathroom once she arrives and change into pajamas, and I’ll sit out here and patiently await your return. Catherine will insist I get some rest. Then I’ll leave you in her capable hands. In the morning, I make your breakfast and eventually Kassie will make her way down or Carol will stop in. Do you realize we haven’t kissed one time since we got home? We don’t talk about the future. In fact, I notice you avoid it all together. If I guessed, I’d say you’re waiting for a call from Dr. Brady to determine my place in your life. I don’t like it one bit,” Michael ranted.

“I’m here,” she whispered as her eyes filled with tears.

Michael swiped his hand over his face and shook his head. He got up from his seat on the couch and knelt beside her chair.

“Lizzy, I’m sorry. Waiting for the damn phone to ring feels like an eternity. Then you’re subtly holding yourself away from me. It scares me.”

“I’m here.” She gazed into his eyes. “When Dr. Safder told me they found cancer, I decided not to drag you through this, not again. You convinced me to move here with you and I said yes. I can’t promise you tomorrow, but I’m here, right now. Let’s enjoy this time together and pretend the cancer doesn’t exist. Show me the new office, take me for a ride up the mountain, or let me sit in the kitchen while you prepare our food. Don’t pretend I’m an invalid. It helps having my friends stop by because I can’t stand you staring at me and pretending to stay hopeful when we both know we’re terrified of the phone ringing.”

Michael blinked and a tear ran down his face. “I’m terrified the phone will ring and like a nightmare, I’ll wake up and find you gone. I love you, Lizzy Bee and I worry you don’t think I can care for you. I admit, I’ve experienced boneheaded moments, and I promise to do better.”

Lizzy laughed. She rolled back her head, held onto her chest and let it out. Michael stared at her completely confused.

“Don’t get better at staying a bonehead,” she giggled. “Oh, Michael, you walk around on eggshells. You act as if I’ll break any moment. You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. The road didn’t magically appear with potholes because you drove me home. The stairs to the front porch were there the first day we saw the house. The ladies kicked you out for your own good. You need air, friends, and for Pete’s sake stop watching me breathe.”

“This can be serious, and you crack these crude jokes. In all the time we stayed married, you never told a single jest. I don’t know what you’re thinking anymore. How can I reassure you when you don’t talk to me? You ask me to grab your tablet, get your leggings but we don’t discuss the elephant in the room.”

Lizzy sobered at his words. “We can’t discuss anything when we don’t know all the facts. I try to think of things to occupy you or you’ll sit and watch me sleep. It’s almost a week, and we’ll know soon. I hope she calls before the weekend. If Catherine and Kassie didn’t push you to rest, both of us know you’ll make a pallet on the couch and grow mold. If you wanna kiss me, then kiss me, dang it.”

He smiled as he leaned in, watching the merriment dance in her eyes. Somewhere in there, his Lizzy lurked and deemed him a bonehead. His lips pressed against hers. She started to touch his face and he intercepted her hand, knowing it caused her pain to raise it. He closed his eyes and relished the moment of her soft mouth touching his. Her mouth opened as her tongue glided across his bottom lip. She nipped him with her teeth and grinned.

“I love you, Michael Bonehead, no matter what happens, I want you to remember those words more than anything else.”

“Oh, Lizzy, don’t?—”

“Shhh, help me move to the couch and hold me. We’ll take a moment to recharge. As much as you’re worried about me, I’m concerned for you. Can we enjoy each other and keep the world at bay? I’ll text Catherine and tell her you’re taking care of me tonight.”

Michael pulled the blanket from her lap and noticed her shirt. “This comes in handy, who found it?”

“Samantha sent it over.” She eased up from the chair. “I’ll text Catherine if you’ll grab me acetaminophen. I’m feeling a bit achy.” She winced as she reached for her phone.

Michael helped her gather pillows for the couch and sat her down before retrieving her meds and a glass of water. He wrote the time in the logbook and watched as she took the two pills from his hand and swallowed them down. He took the glass from her and set it on a coaster before sitting down next to her. Gathering the pillows to hold her upright, he eased her back, yet still kept her in a sitting position. His arms went around her, and she sighed her contentment.

For the first time since they returned home, he finally felt he did something right. They enjoyed the silence until he heard a soft snore. He closed his eyes and kissed her temple. Her hair smelled of vanilla and he inhaled her scent. He leaned his head on the couch. Before he drifted off to sleep, his last thoughts were of how much he loved this woman. He prepared himself to fight for her, for himself and their future.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The morning sun hit Michael’s eyes and he stirred. Lizzy lay propped against his chest. He gently maneuvered the pillows to keep her upright. She didn’t move as he slid out from under her and made his way to the bathroom. He washed his hands and grinned at himself in the mirror. Last night, he rested better than he had since she admitted her diagnosis to him.

He brushed his teeth and decided to forego a shower until Kassie arrived. He glanced at his phone and decided to start breakfast. He walked into the kitchen and started the coffee pot. He ran water for the kettle and set it on the stove to simmer for tea. He took out the eggs and started cracking them into a bowl when she entered the house.

“Good morning,” she whispered as she sat her bags on the counter and shot him a smile. “How’s things going? Catherine texted and told me you called her off last night. Do you want me to go? We want to help, not intrude.”

“You’re not. It’s me. Geez, I’m making a fool of myself.” Michael pinched his nose and began again. “She’s starting to trust me again. I wooed her. I did everything right this time to ensure she knew how much I loved her. The night she told me about having breast cancer, she attempted to break up with me. She planned to push me away. I wanted her to know I can handle this, and she doesn’t need to worry about me.”

Kassie pulled Michael into a hug. “We can offer support, love, and encouragement. You give her so much more. You’re her lighthouse in the storm. She searches for you whenever you leave the room and lights up when you return. Why don’t you visit the guys? I can hold down the fort here.”

He rubbed the overgrown scruff on his chin, “Yeah, I’ve got a few things to finish up. Maybe I’ll pop in later. Right now, a shower and a shave sound great.”

“Go, I’ll check on Lizzy and finish breakfast. We can eat together,” she told him while steering him into the hallway.

Starting down the hall and into the bathroom, he wished he felt like one of the team. If anything, the move to Serenity lessened his caseload and gave him the opportunity to develop relationships he didn’t prioritize until now. Lizzy’s diagnosis made him step back and reevaluate what he held important. Vowing to make time for them, he put their relationship first. He knew he needed to make some friends.

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