Page 2 of Loving Lizzy

“You’ll need to do better than that. What the hell? We’re getting along great. I’ve gone slower than a snail, to keep from spooking you and making you run again. Something’s going on, and you aren’t telling me the truth. You lied to my friend and now to me. I’m entitled to an explanation.” He waited for her to deny it.

Lizzy’s eyes glistened with tears. “Yes. You deserve better. The wedding served as a wake-up call. We missed our chance of a happily ever after. I can’t go back to the Lizzy you once knew.”

Michael took her in his arms. She held herself stiffly. She gripped the papers in her hand. She refused to meet his gaze. “I don’t recall asking you to change. Is this about Conner? Do you resent me for not being there when our son died?” his voice carried a worried tone.

“Do you honestly think I’d hold you responsible for your kidnapping and missing Conner’s birth? I only wish you met him. He was beautiful,” she whispered.

“I know. I love the picture of you holding him and keep it in my wallet. If you don’t blame me, then why? We can’t work through it if I don’t know what it is.” He watched her facial expressions change.

“No. I can’t do this.” She shook her head frantically as she began walking toward the door.

“Damn it, I’m not losing you again,” he growled. His hand shot out and grasped her wrist. The papers in her hand fell to the floor as she tried to escape his touch.

As if his words pained her, she squeezed her eyes tightly. Lizzy clenched her fists and stared rigidly across the room. “I need you to leave. We can’t be together anymore. Find someone who can make you happy.”

He cupped her face with his hands. “You make me happy. It’s you and me, Lizzy Bee,” he whispered.

“I can’t, Michael. All I can do is bring more misery into our lives and you don’t deserve it,” she sobbed.

“Don’t I get a say? Why the secrecy? Did you meet someone when you deserted me? Because honestly, I don’t understand where you were or why you left. You become evasive whenever I ask about anything concerning our time apart. I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out what you aren’t telling me.” He didn’t attempt to contain the hurt he felt at her disappearance after their son’s death.

Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she closed them as if he reminded her of the pain they experienced.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore and I’ll walk out without another word. But if you care for me even a bit, I want you to tell me the truth. I deserve it. I want it. I went through hell trying to find you after returning home. It crushed me, Lizzy Bee.”

Tears fell from her face, smearing her perfectly made-up persona. Lizzy thrived by planning. Laying out her clothes daily and planning her meals a month in advance, she reminded him of a worker bee swarming with ideas. He took her hand and led her to the couch. After searching the disorganized condo, by Lizzy’s standards, for tissues, he finally brought out a roll of toilet paper. Picking up the papers, and setting them beside him, he placed her on his lap.

“Is it another man?” he asked softly. Afraid if she said yes, he’d lose it, yet he needed to know. His OCD ex-wife seemed off her game, and he wasn’t leaving until he knew the truth. His hand automatically swiped the tear running down her cheek as her eyes remained fixed on the documents.

Lizzy stroked along his jaw as she shook her head. “No, there’s no one else.”

“But you don’t want to see me anymore. What isn’t working?” He held the tissue while she blew her nose. He noticed the paleness of her face and the dark circles under her eyes as they flitted to the items beside him.

Michael’s gaze followed hers and landed on the pages. His eyes skimmed over the words and stopped at “breast cancer.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat as he faced her. “Are you sick?” His heart raced as he watched her startled eyes meet his.

Her silence confirmed his fear.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he murmured.

She rose from his lap and walked across the room. Her hand fiddled with the longer strands of hair on the back of her neck from her pixie cut. “I didn’t plan to tell you. I intend to face this alone. I don’t want you to stay, especially now.” she whispered as if she didn’t want to say the words aloud.

Michael leaped from the couch and stood in front of her. “What did you say?”

She raised her face up to his. “I can’t be with you because I have breast cancer. I know how it destroyed you when your mom battled it and I refuse to let you suffer through it again. I want you to find someone who can give you everything you deserve. We always seem to have to fight fate to remain together. I realize we fought the inevitable.” Her voice sounded determined, but he heard the fear.

Michael shook his head. “What type of man leaves his wife when she has cancer? What kind of man do you think I am? They’ve made new advances in breast cancer treatment and research since my mom passed away. What stage? Who’s your oncologist? How long have you known?”

She stepped back from him. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’m not changing my mind. I want you to find someone who can give you children. You’re a pediatrician, don’t tell me you don’t want them.”

“You can harvest your eggs if we need to. We can adopt kids. It doesn’t matter how we get them.” He addressed her excuses.

Lizzy shook her head, determined to make him understand. “We can’t stay together, Michael. We’re not married any longer. We aren’t Kassie and Chase, destined to live happily ever after. I don’t want you to experience this with me.”

Michael’s jaw ticked as he stared her down. She had already started cementing the wall between them. He saw it in her eyes, in how she held herself.

“I’m not leaving you, Lizzy Bee. I know you’re scared. We’ll make an appointment and go over all the options. It may mean only surgery. We’ll get a second opinion. I’m sure Chase has connections, too.” His mind raced to consider the oncologists on staff at Seattle Health and who she might see.

“It isn’t only surgery.” She told him. Her mouth formed into a grim line.

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