Page 48 of Loving Lizzy

“You became a martyr? When things became challenging you left. Did it ever occur to you how Michael took the news of his newborn son and the disappearance of his wife?” she asked in a motherly tone.

“I know it hurt him,” Lizzy murmured guiltily.

“Child, I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’ve noticed a few things about you two. You get wound up in thinking about how the other feels, you don’t bother to communicate it. Now, I don’t mind keeping you company today, don’t get me wrong. But don’t you think Michael wanted to come?”

“I made the appointment, and he’d already had scheduled a meeting the same day. I didn’t want to ask him to sit here all day. I can handle it.”

She shook her head. “I’ve no doubt you think you can. It doesn’t mean you should.”

Saint pulled into the parking lot and escorted the women into the hospital wing. Butterflies swam in Lizzy’s stomach as she registered at check in. Now she wished she had asked Michael to cancel the appointment and be there beside her. She felt exactly what Edie called her: a martyr.

A friendly nurse called her name. “Good morning. I see this is your first visit. Did you remember to put lidocaine cream on your port site?”

She nodded. Her legs felt like cement as she forced herself to stand. Edie gave her a nod of encouragement. Saint’s huge arms crossed over his chest while he silently watched.

Step by step, Lizzy began to follow the nurse into the sterile-looking room. The recliners sat in a circle and television screens were placed strategically around the area.

“Oh, Edie came with me. Can she come back with us?” Lizzy asked the nurse.

“Only patients can enter the transfusion room. She’ll need to wait out here in the waiting room,” the nurse informed her as she walked through the doors.

“Will you give me a moment?” Lizzy didn’t wait for the nurse to respond as she nearly ran to her friends.

Saint reached for her and pulled her in for a huge hug. “Everything’s gonna be just fine, Miss Lizzy. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. I’ll sit here and keep mama company and you go show cancer you’re kicking its butt. We ain’t going anywhere without you,” Saint whispered in her ear.

Edie tugged Lizzy into the seat next to her and pulled something from her bag. Tears welled in Lizzy’s eyes, and she wished Michael was there to put his arms around her as the panic of sitting alone in the infusion room hit her.

“I planned on giving you this inside,” she told her as she unfolded something in her hands. “I brought you a prayer shawl. It’ll protect you while you’re getting your treatment.”

Lizzy gazed down at the garment and fingered the material. “It’s sweet of you. You should know, I’m not particularly religious to any certain church.”

Edie wrapped it around Lizzy’s shoulders. “Your friends and I made this for you. Yes, we prayed over it as we made it. This shawl represents more than any certain faith. It wraps you up in the support of each of your friends. We made it to remind you to keep faith in yourself. You’re not alone, we’ll stand behind you in this battle and raise you up when you feel you no longer can stand. It represents our love, and hope for you.” She pulled it tight as if to give Lizzy the strength she needed.

Lizzy’s chin lifted a notch as she swallowed and blinked back the tears. As if the garment projected some mystical energy, Lizzy found the vigor to follow the nurse to a chair between an older woman on her left and another around Lizzy’s age on her right.

She listened as the nurse gave her last-minute directions and inserted the medication through the port that the medical team placed the week before. Lizzy’s heart pounded as she watched the drug hanging and entering her body. She silently prayed it worked and tightened the shawl around her. She vacantly stared at the TV, not really watching it.

The woman on her right spoke up first, “You got cancer? You kinda got the scared, ‘oh shit I’m gonna die’ thing down pat. I’m Diana and got one of the girls lobbed off. What stage did they tell you?”

The older woman spoke up before Lizzy responded. “Diana, you might let her get settled in before you start. Good grief, give her a chance to breathe.”

“Come on, Barb, you know you’re as curious as I am,” the younger woman argued.

Barb shook her head at her friend and let out a laugh. “Welcome to the chemo club, my dear. Diana provides our pitiful excuse for entertainment. I’m Barb. No need for modesty here. We’re all fighting something and try to keep a sense of humor. It’s my second time fighting this bitch.”

“I’m Elizabeth,” she faltered.

Barb leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. Diana sat up and studied Lizzy.

“I’m gonna guess it’s your first time. Geez you didn’t get poked maybe five minutes ago and you’re already pale. You gonna yak? Let us know, we’ll call the nurse to bring ya something.”

She shook her head and leaned back to close her eyes and shut the woman out. Maybe she did feel a bit nauseous. She tugged on the ends of the shawl for protection.

“She might want to sit back and observe today. Not everyone wants to share, ya know?” Barb pointed out.

Lizzy watched as the nurse led two more patients inside. A young woman, not older than eighteen sat in a chair. She watched as the nurse pulled a prepared package from the bin in the refrigerator and checked the arm bracelet. Once she finished hooking the patient up, the young woman grabbed her tablet and began tapping at her keys.

Diana leaned over the chair, “She’s got leukemia.”

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