Page 55 of Securing Samantha

“Who can turn down spaghetti and dessert?” He felt the team let out relieved breaths.

Taco pulled plates from the cabinet. Saint handed the napkins and silverware to Nugget to pass around the table while he set the plates down.

Saint clasped his shoulder in support while Taco nodded. He sat down at the table and numbly ate the food in front of him. He observed the men around him and how their lives changed too. Leo married the love of his life. Taco still loved tacos, he guessed that’d never changed. Shadow remained the quiet one in the group, yet when no one watched, he caught a lost expression on his friend’s face. Saint raised a child he never knew existed. If his friends changed, why didn’t he expect his own wife to change? Her life didn’t come to a halt at his death. In fact, the news of his death hastened her into motherhood. Her parents still lived with her then. He vaguely wondered how she handled the death of her father, who she shared a special relationship with. He imagined Patrice felt a sense of relief. Not in a cruel sense, but she didn’t bear watching her husband lose his identity and forget them well. As if lightning struck him, he thought of Samantha and how she survived his death and LJ’s arrival. Hope laid curled up by his feet. He excused himself from the table, scraped his plate out and stuck it in the dishwasher. He scooped Hope in his arm and made his way to his truck. He drove off the mountain and parked in front Samantha’s old house.

When he received the divorce papers, Samantha asked for certain items in the house. The list included an old computer in the closet and in parenthesis she wrote it contained baby videos of LJ. He went to her closet and found the old computer. It didn’t turn on. Frustration ran through him before he remembered Matthew, the tech guy he met a few times at the facility. He grabbed the cord and jumped back into the truck.

Matthew sat in his office going over files when Whiskey found him.

“There’re videos on this thing. I can’t get the computer to turn on. I want the photos of LJ.” He held out the device and Matthew examined it.

“Where’s the power cord?” Matthew asked.

He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled it out. Hope investigated Matthew’s area while the men worked on the computer. Matthew fiddled with the plug a bit and the computer came to life. Whiskey smacked his forehead at the duh moment. Matthew moved the curser to a file marked LJ and opened it. Several photos popped up and videos. He took a USB drive and downloaded it.

“Take this and leave the computer. The cord isn’t in good shape. I’ll order a new one online but at least you can see the photos and videos.”

He walked to his truck with Hope in one hand and the precious USB in the other. He drove to the cabin and let Hope go to the bathroom before letting himself inside. A note from Kassie lay on the table with a wedge of apple pie.

Vanilla ice cream in the freezer. I’ll pick you up at oh six hundred. Dress warm.

Love,

Kassie

He shook his head. He sat Hope down to explore and pulled out the laptop the team gave him. He put the USB in. Photos of LJ popped up from various years. He slowly viewed the images. Samantha held their son in her arms and even though she smiled for the picture sadness seeped from her eyes. One of the videos popped up. Leo must’ve recorded it because he recognized his boots. He hit play. It showed LJ coming home from the hospital for the first time. She pulled the baby into her arms as Leo walked backward. Whiskey turned the volume up to hear what they said.

“LJ your daddy surprised me with this home. I always wanted a sunny yellow kitchen with bright light. He painted it before he brought me here. He saved all his money while I finished school to give us a home. Your da loved us more than anything in this world.” He heard her voice break.

The next video, she rocked him to sleep singing the lullaby he told her he wanted to sing to his child. She learned the Connemara Cradle Song for him. When she finished, she told their son all about his father.

“LJ, your da may not be here with us, but he wanted to sing this song to you. I know no matter what he fought hard to come back to us. His greatest mission in life was to make sure we felt surrounded by his love. My wish for you is that you always feel secure in your da’s love for you as much as I did. There’s nothing like it in the entire world. You can always count on it and believe in it, because he’ll never let you down.” she whispered.

He saw the tears trailing down her cheeks. He turned off the computer as his heart lurched from his chest. She may not know what he went through but she experienced a hell of her own.

He thought back to the day she walked into the cabin. She blinked as if she conjured him up in a dream. Hope sprang into her eyes when she realized who sat on the chair.

His mind processed their therapy sessions. She bombarded Claire with questions. He remembered rolling his eyes when she brought a small notebook asking about different types of therapies, EMDR, CPT, and CBT. She asked about his nutrition. Samantha turned her gaze to him as if asking if he thought any of this would help. It became overwhelming as she fought to change him or fix him. He withdrew from it all, never really trying.

Guilt and regret filled his gut. He played their meetings in his head. The day she shaved his beard. She met him at the door with anxious, worried eyes. It occurred to him he asked her to shave him because she performed the task when he returned from missions. All the guys teased him as they made themselves presentable for going out. Whiskey showered but refused to shave or get his hair cut by anyone other than his wife. She turned the ritual into something intimate, soothing, and solidified his return to her. After all he put her through, he unconsciously sought the comfort and reassurance of her presence in his life. When she turned him in the mirror, he caught a glimpse of what they used to be. A sparkle lit her face as she smiled at him through the glass. Over the following weeks, he watched her lose the light in her eyes as he rejected her over and over.

He took Hope outside one more time before placing her in the crate and lying fully clothed on his bed. He turned off the light and lay in the black emptiness. He couldn’t help but think of how dark his life felt without the light.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Kassie slipped from Chase’s arms and slid out of the bed. He turned over as she made her way across the bedroom.

“Hey, Princess, everything okay?” he sleepily asked.

She leaned over and brushed her lips against his. “Everything’s fine, go back to sleep, I’ll be back in a bit,” she whispered. She closed the master bathroom door and slipped into the clothes she laid out the evening before. She turned off the light and slid out of the bedroom in the dark. She poured the strong coffee into the thermos and grabbed Bryanna’s basket of goodies. She opened the garage door and slid into Chase’s truck as she headed around the lake to the hospital subdivision. Her heart hurt for her friends. She and Catherine planned to visit Samantha as soon as she scheduled her visits to Serenity for LJ. After a long discussion with Michael, he and Lizzy decided to move to Serenity. Carol offered her rental, but Kassie felt the couple needed privacy.

The only property on the market was the older Stevens home at the base of the mountain, halfway between the town and the hospital. The house held a picturesque view of the mountains and sat far from the road with woods around it. Kassie frowned. A lovely home but required a ton of work. Michael and Lizzy didn’t have time or the strength to put the work into the home.

She sighed and added the problem to her list. Even if they offered them land on the mountain, building took months, and they didn’t need the additional pressure. She parked her truck in front of Whiskey’s cabin. Kassie jumped out and cheerfully knocked on Whiskey’s door.

He opened the door and glared at her with one eye open. His hair stood up on end and his clothes appeared slept in.

She showed him her offerings. “I have pastries from Bryanna’s and good strong hot coffee from those fancy beans Catherine gets. I used them all for you and Chase didn’t get any this morning,” she smiled.

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