Page 48 of Securing Samantha

Elizabeth straightened, “You killed someone?”

“Only to protect LJ, Samantha and Emma,” Kassie stated.

“It’s all secret FBI, ABC stuff. Those alphabet men, I can’t remember which one. It might have involved both,” Victoria mused.

“I don’t quite understand why you’re taking this out on Kassie. She didn’t bring our husbands back. The team did. She helped Whiskey. She even helped you. It doesn’t explain why you never checked on me or why I didn’t visit you. Ash blackmailed me. I stayed away because of fear of anyone finding out and I didn’t want him alone with Melody. He controlled where I went and who I spoke with. However, I’ll admit I got wrapped up in my own problems. I apologize, Samantha. It wasn’t done intentionally,” Catherine blurted out her own trauma.

“I understand you went through something horrible. I know I don’t know the whole story and wondered how your first husband died and you married Leo within weeks. You didn’t ask me to do your hair or makeup,” Samantha threw out.

“You married Leo after your husband died?” Lizzy tried to keep up.

“Yes, I didn’t love him. He was abusive. Ash, not Leo,” Catherine corrected.

Elizabeth’s eyes widened as she took the table in.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I love you and LJ. I did help Whiskey as much as possible. I know how scary it feels when people rush at you. Groups of people bother you. I still meet with Claire to talk about unresolved feelings. Chase knows all I endured but it’s taken months for me to even talk about it. Something as innocent as a picnic triggers a memory. Chase stops and listens, and I can let it go. I wanted the same thing for Whiskey. He loves you very much.” Kassie reached for Samantha’s hand.

She jerked it back, refusing to let Kassie touch her.

“There ya go. You want to know what my problem is? I’m his wife. I understand the need for secrecy to an extent. But I found out about my husband by complete accident. Instead of rushing into my arms, he ran to the closet you made to make him feel safe. He talked to you.” Samantha gasped as all the turmoil she felt bubbled to the surface. “Then he finally came out and Claire asked me to leave. I didn’t get to hold the man who I’ve missed for years. We worked as a team and suddenly you replaced me. Instead of leaning on his wife, you and Claire became his crutches. I put in all the work and went to classes, support groups and in the meantime, Whiskey leaned on you. I’ve read books, I practiced with my son to help him understand his da suffered from PTSD. I asked about service animals. He told me the barking might bother him. Then you bring him a freaking puppy named Hope. You’re the reason I’ve lost hope, Kassie. You never left me a place to comfort my husband and show him love or compassion…” Samantha burst out. She was tired of holding everything in.

“Did you stop to think of Whiskey’s needs? He didn’t want you to see him when he felt weak and damaged. He left you as some tough warrior and came back diminished in his mind,” Catherine argued. “Kassie went through it. She pushed Chase away. She encouraged Whiskey to let you in. You, out of all people, witnessed Kassie’s trauma. She’d know how to reach him and pull him from the dark,” Catherine stuck up for Kassie. Grabbing a wad of tissues, she passed them to everyone at the table.

“I wanted to hold my husband. If this happened to Leo or Chase, wouldn’t you want to take an active role in his healing? Not be shoved aside and told your feelings on the matter made your husband feel suffocated,” Samantha sobbed.

“Your feelings do matter. I tried supporting you,” Kassie reasoned.

“Pretty flowers and a note don’t count as support. I’ve dealt with this all alone,” Samantha shouted.

“By your own choosing,” Catherine spat.

“Stop it! All of you.” Elizabeth shouted above them. She stood and faced all three of the sobbing women.

As one, the three, surprised by Elizabeth’s outburst, turned wide eyes in her direction.

“Look at you. Do you even realize what you have? I understand you’re hurt, mad, and sad. Life’s too short to hold all these grudges. The way I see it and I’m a newcomer to this, so I’ll break it down.

“Kassie, you made a promise and kept it. Your friend’s hurt because your friendship took second place for the needs of the team. They’d appreciate it if next time you didn’t make a promise without considering their feelings. Catherine, you made up with Kassie, but you failed Samantha. You got caught up in your own mess and didn’t think of your friend going through something horrible. Samantha, I don’t think you’re mad at Kassie as much as you’re upset with Whiskey for not allowing you to see him when he was vulnerable. You wanted to be his rock because even when you thought he died, he remained a solid presence in your life. After such an extraordinary experience, you don’t carry the medical knowledge to get him through the crisis. You didn’t get pushed aside. Whiskey’s journey needed mental and physical healing first. He chose to wait to see you.” She stopped as she took a hard breath.

“All of you are wrong. All of you are right. You’re human and from what I gather, this isn’t a normal situation. Why can’t you agree you all carried valid feelings and if you took the time to talk, you’d realize how special your friendship means to each of you. I’d kill to have one of you as a true friend and not acquaintances right now. You love each other and the pain of staying apart shows on all your faces right now. Yes, Samantha. There’re people who enter your life for a specific time and leave. Then there’re those meant to stay lifelong friends. I suggest you open your eyes and realize how blessed you are to have each other and get your heads out of your asses. Some people have no one. How do I know? Because I’m the no one. You don’t deserve each other. You’re ungrateful and worried about who’s right or wrong. While I pray for one person to hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to turn out all right,” Tears streamed down Lizzy’s face. “What I wouldn’t do for a close friend who feels comfortable to spew the crap you threw at each other and know at the end of the day you’ll hug it out. Some people don’t have the end of each day.”

Kassie went to Lizzy’s side. “What’s wrong, Lizzy?” Kassie wrapped her arms around Lizzy, her voice dropped to soft and soothing. Catherine and Samantha moved closer.

“I…I have breast cancer. It came back. And Michael…” she burst into tears. Samantha stood from the table and locked her arms around Lizzy’s other side. Catherine grabbed tissues, as she held them and rocked back and forth. Tears ran freely from everyone in the room.

“Is this why you keep calling out with the flu? Why didn’t you talk to us? We’ve flooded you with work, and you kept taking on new projects,” She questioned Lizzy softly.

“Michael planned to talk to Chase. Apparently, the team’s busy and frankly we’ve argued nonstop, and I don’t know what to do,” she sniffled as she held the tissue to her nose.

“When you say, Michael. You mean, Michael Harris?” Kassie sat back. “I didn’t know you knew each other.”

“He’s my ex-husband. I divorced him because I found out I had cancer when he and Chase were rescued by the team,” she hiccuped.

“Why on earth?” Catherine asked stunned.

“His mother suffered from breast cancer. Our son died of SIDS. When I got word they rescued him, I couldn’t bear to break his heart and have him watch me as he did his mom. I wanted him to go on and have children and be happy with someone else,” Lizzy explained.

“Oh, Lizzy,” Catherine rubbed her back.

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