Page 47 of Coveting Catherine

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

Saint dropped off paperwork concerning her options for Ash's burial. He handed Leo a stack of files to go over while he stayed with Catherine. Rebecca Rhodes phoned with information they extracted from one of Rahimi’s men. The team worked on the leads to help trace the traitor within their midst. He dreaded the looming conversation about Ash with Catherine. He decided to ease her into a discussion concerning Melody. Maybe if she learned to trust him, she’d tell him on her own.

Leo situated Catherine on the couch and moved the matching square footrest to Catherine's side. Catherine became nervous as he switched from temporary roommate to business mode. He held off questioning her for as long as possible. Honestly, he usually remained the patient one while others went crazy trying to extract intelligence from suspects. This time, the information he sought made his heart race and his gut roll. Fear of losing Catherine, and possibly Melody, forever made him tread carefully. He spent the last few days making Catherine feel at home and put off the discussion of her husband. Now, he needed answers.

“Ash confessed to a few things the day he passed. You're the only one able to confirm some of the items. Some of them concern his illegal dealings and the CIA sent over a list of questions for you. Then I have my own. How do you feel today?” He sat down facing her on the footrest in order to gauge her reactions.

“Yes, I'm feeling fine. I decreased the amount of pain meds, and my head doesn’t feel as woozy. I can stay up longer and help you. I swear, he didn’t tell me anything concerning any illegal activities.” She licked her lips nervously. “Do I need an attorney?” she asked.

“You'll need to stay ahead of the pain, and the doctor made no mention of you decreasing the dosage until your next visit. We're sticking to the schedule until I'm told otherwise,” he gruffly replied.

Catherine rolled her eyes but wisely stayed quiet.

“Ash admitted to helping Maverick kill himself by giving him a dose of an illegal drug,” he stated. “Did he talk to you at all about Maverick?”

“He told me Maverick saved you during a mission. I'm assuming it happened when you stayed in Afghanistan after you saved a humanitarian group.”

“Did he mention anything about me, specifically?”

Catherine didn't meet Leo's eyes. “What good does hashing Ash's hatred for his leader help the team or CIA? It happened a long time ago,” Catherine made excuses.

“Did Ash tell you how much he hated me at any point?” Leo pressed.

“I don't understand. Did Ash tell you these things? I'm not sure why it's important to drudge all this up. His feelings toward you or the team are moot now. Ash can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“I want you to answer the questions, Kit Kat. We need to get to the bottom of all this,” he firmly told her.

“He might have mentioned he felt like you didn't deserve your position as team leader,” she admitted.

“Did he mention anything about destroying my career? Or maybe my life?”

Catherine shook her head. “No, I don't recall him mentioning anything. He was deployed for most of our marriage. When he returned home, he spent very little time with us, and I assumed the rest involved a bar or another woman. When he came home, he didn't discuss the team.”

“The team or specifically me?” Leo dug further.

“He didn't talk about the team, and he didn't want to discuss you,” Catherine rushed.

“Didn't you find it odd? Normally, SEAL teams hang out with each other outside of missions. It’s part of our bond. We do family functions together and trust the man behind us to have each other's back.” Leo's gaze bored into her.

“You're making me feel like I'm being interrogated. I can't recall all the details. I graduated while pregnant with Melody and worked nonstop. I cared for my daughter after her birth while working. It felt like two full time jobs. Believe me, I stayed exhausted most of the time.”

Leo sighed. “Catherine, I need your honesty right now.”

“I feel like I'm on trial. Ash spent more time with the team than with me. You know more about him than I do,” she accused. She became flustered at his questioning.

Leo set the papers on the coffee table in front of him.

He wanted her to squirm. He wanted her uncomfortable. Not to punish her, she already went through enough to last a lifetime. He knew everything about the woman in front of him, down to how she liked her coffee to how she talked in her sleep .

He prayed for Catherine to tell him everything. Every sordid detail she refused to talk about. He needed to know how much she suffered from Ash's hatred for him. Guilt surrounded him when he thought about the night at the beach meet, and how he accepted her response to his question if Ash hurt her. Did she fall because of dizziness? Now he knew to doubt any of their interactions. Her vague answers to his questions signaled she hid something. He took a deep breath and picked up Catherine's hand with the two broken fingers. His thumb gently traced the splints as he winced at the thought of her hurting because of Ash.

No, Leo knew Catherine better than she knew herself. Her reaction to Olaf's death didn't surprise him. The guilt he held over his death settled to acceptance. He felt responsible for Olaf and let his guilt accept Catherine's anger and hatred of him. She felt responsible for Ash’s actions, and he imagined she carried some guilt, possibly for not telling him about Melody, about everything. They resembled two peas in a pod.

Now the only guilt he felt over Olaf consisted of letting him down. It was because of his best friend, he found the courage to ask Catherine out on their first date. He pushed them together. Leo needed to correct his mistakes and get Catherine to talk about Ash and their marriage. Ultimately, he planned to bring up the possibility Ash didn't lie when he announced Melody’s parentage. Regardless, he refused to let Catherine or Melody leave his life again.

Obviously, the topic of Ash made her uncomfortable. He wondered vaguely if she suffered from PTSD like Whiskey. In the short time they stayed together, if he moved too quickly, she flinched. If he raised his voice, she put space between them. If he confronted her directly, he held no doubt she’d place her defensive walls around her and leave both of them frustrated. He moved away before continuing, “I'm sorry. Ash said things concerning the team and me. At one time, we considered him our teammate and our brother. Ash felt differently and we need to uncover the damage he caused to all of us.” Switching gears to relax her, he stated, “Your mom’s coming up to visit. Would you care for a shower?”

“We can cover my ankle, but the burns are still tender. Plus, I don’t think I can stand long enough.” She sighed, the longing in her voice for a hot shower clearly showed.

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