I get to work right away on the wall, not letting myself stop and think as an intense need to destroy something quickly builds inside me. And as I swing the hammer into the drywall, something almost like relief flows through me.
As I continue to tear down the wall, pulling large pieces of drywall off and dropping them to the floor, I finally give in… just a little bit. I don’twantto feel good, because I know I don’t deserve to. But with each swing of the pry bar, I can’t help it. I may not have the courage to tear myself apart the way I need to, but I guess this is the next best thing. And even though I try to resist, the more I tear down, the more something inside me begins to crack open. It’s wrong, but I can’t stop. Each piece of the wall I destroy feels like a release I shouldn't want but can't turn away from.
Eventually, I hear the door open, and I turn around to see Theo enter the kitchen.
His eyes widen as he takes in the wall, the entire left side of it now down to the studs. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah.” I wipe my forehead with the back of my forearm, looking down at the mess all over the floor. “Sorry, I’ll clean this all up. I just figured I could do something with it today.”
Theo shakes his head as he tosses his keys onto the kitchen island and observes the wall. “No need to apologize. You did more with this than I did in three months.”
He shrugs out of his jacket, and I take in the dirt on his clothes and the tiredness in his eyes. He turns towards the coffeemaker to start making himself one, and I keep my eyes on his back.
“Hope you don’t mind I borrowed some tools from your workshop,” I say, watching as he reaches into a cupboard and pulls out a mug.
“No problem, help yourself.” He then holds up another mug and glances over his shoulder at me with raised eyebrows.
I nod, and he makes me a coffee as well.
As it begins to brew, he walks over to the wall and picks up the pry bar. He looks down at it for a moment, then slams it into the drywall on the side I didn’t get started on yet. I watch him as he rips a large piece out and it falls to the floor, and I swear I see the same thing in him that I felt.
Relief.
I step closer and swing the hammer into the drywall as well. We work together, and within minutes, the entire wall is down to the studs.
Theo sets the pry bar on the island and heads over to the coffee machine, handing me a mug.
“Thanks,” I say as I take it, and he nods, picking up his own.
“I’m heading out to the barn to finish a set of shelves, then I have to deliver them later on,” he says, turning towards the door to head outside.
“Ok.” I pick up the pry bar, ready to start taking out the studs, but Theo stops and turns to face me.
He eyes me for a moment, like he isn’t quite sure what to do or say. Then he releases a small breath and diverts his gaze from mine. “One of my buddies is playing at the pub tonight. He plays guitar and his girlfriend is a fiddler. I’m heading down to watch them, if you want to come?” He meets my eyes again. “You can get to know the town a bit.”
That last sentence makes me pause, as I know I shouldn’t get too comfortable here. This isn’t my home, and I don’t know howlong I’ll be in this town. But as I look into his warm brown eyes, that same hopeful spark I noticed in the store yesterday morning flickers back to life, and I can’t help but nod.
“Yeah. Sounds good.”
SIX
The soundof music and happy chatter washes over me as I step into the pub, and Liam follows close behind me. The familiar warmth of this place immediately puts me at ease, as it always does, and I smile and nod at everyone who greets me as I step further into the pub to an empty table.
“Here ok?” I ask Liam, stopping and pulling out a chair.
He nods, pulling one out as well. “Yeah.”
We take our seats and Liam’s eyes dart around the room, taking in the bustling space. The table next to us laughs loudly and my friends, Caleb and Emily, get set up to play.Liam shifts in his seat, looking a bit uncomfortable.
Just as I’m about to ask him if he’s alright, Allison appears at our table, dropping two coasters down with a bright smile.
“Hey, Theo. What can I get you guys?”
I look up at her, returning her smile. “Hey. I’ll take a Storm Surge.”
She chuckles with a slight shake of her head at my predictability. But I know what I like, and I’ll continue to get my favourite pale ale from the local brewery every time I’m here. “Should have known.” She turns to Liam. “And you?”
He glances towards the bar and gives a slight shrug. “Same.”