Page 88 of Tide Over

Mitch groans and turns to me. “Oh fuck right off, don’t encourage her.”

I shrug as Sarah cackles with delight and Glen shakes his head, clearly on Mitch’s side.

The first trap breaks the surface, and I lean over to haul it up, setting it on the edge of the boat to start emptying it.

“Think Liam will come back out?” Mitch asks as he reaches into the trap.

“He’s heading back to work in a couple days,” I say, my stomach dropping at the thought of not having him here for three weeks. “So, not sure.”

“Tell him it’s his last chance if he doesn’t want to wait until November,” Sarah says. “Season will be done when he gets home.”

I nod, tossing a lobster into the holding tank. “Yeah, maybe he can get out again before he leaves.”

“What’s he up to today?” Glen asks as Mitch passes an empty trap down the line to Sarah for bait, while I pull up the next one.

“Doing some work on the house,” I say, opening the trap.

Sarah looks down the boat at me. “What have you done to it so far? Sounds like you guys have gone hard on it the past couple months.”

“A lot,” I reply with a nod, pulling out my notcher to cut a V into a breeder’s tail. “When he got here, I only had part of the kitchen done. He’s been working on the rest, and I’ve been finding more time to put into it too.” I place a herring between the lobster’s claws, smiling as she latches onto it, then set her back into the water.

Mitch aims a wide grin my way. “I knew I liked him from the first day I met him. He actually got you to slow the fuck down! That’s a goddamn miracle.”

I huff out a laugh, hitting the switch to pull up the next trap. But I don’t argue with him. Liam has been saying that to me since we first met… and I guess he did make it happen.

Not that I’m complaining.

A sudden warmth fills me as I look at my crew. They like Liam, and they’re the kindest and most understanding people I know. And I find myself wanting to tell them about us. To stop hiding, and let them in.

I take a deep breath as I turn to continue emptying the traps, knowing I need to tell my family first. But still, it feels good to have finally found the courage to share something that’s been weighing on me for so long. And if things don’t go well… I’ll face that if it happens.

But I don’t think it will.

We continue to empty and re-bait the traps, and when we finish this trawl line, Mitch lets out a low whistle as he eyes the holding tank. “Looks like you picked the right spot, Captain.”

I nod, looking over the haul from the line. There’s definitely more here than at our last spot.

At the next trawl line, I pull the buoy up and load the line into the winch, hitting the switch as I lean back against the wheelhouse wall. My eyes scan over the horizon as we wait for the first trap to surface, and I take a moment to just sit with this peaceful, easy feeling. This feeling I’ve been chasing for so long, and finally found.

But that peace is interrupted when the line suddenly pulls taut, and the winch grinds, telling me something’s wrong.

“Shit,” I mutter, stepping forward to shut off the winch. “I think a trap is caught on a rock.”

But before I can turn the switch off, a loud, sudden snap fills the air. The line breaks under the tension, and time seems to slow as I watch the end of it coming right for me… straight at my head.

My arm lifts as I attempt to block the impact, and I close my eyes, unable to do anything else.

And all I feel is intense, searing pain.

THIRTY-THREE

As my coffee brews,I gaze out the window at the peaceful morning and let the calm wash over me. The air is quickly warming up as the sun shines, urging me to get outside and take it all in. My eyes land on the firepit and I smile as I get an idea. Looks like I’ll be doing some yard work after installing the baseboard today, and Theo and I can have a fire this evening. After we visit his mom.

I’m surprised at how calm I feel about it all. About supporting Theo as he tells his mom he’s gay, and that we’re together. I keep thinking it should feel bigger to me, and scarier… but it doesn’t. I’ve never felt this strongly about anyone before, and the fact that he’s a guy doesn’t even seem to matter. All that matters is that I’m with him, and he’s finally doing something for himself that he’s worked towards for so long. I want this for him, and I want this for us.

And watching Theo find the strength to do what’s best for him, makes me realize I can, and should, do the same. It’s time I face my own fears and talk to my parents again. So I can stop running from the pain, and move past this storm. Just these past few days with Theo is proof that I can… and I’m ready to try.

When the coffee is finished brewing, I pick up the mug and glance down at Miss Bobber at my feet. She looks up at me expectantly.

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