Page 74 of Tide Over

The familiar ache takes over as guilt once again settles. They lost someone too, and I wasn’t there for them. But they still want to support me… even when I’m the one who caused this pain.

I nod, even though they can’t see it, and my voice catches in my throat. “Yeah.” Then I wipe my eyes, stand up straight and draw a breath in. “But I should go…” I say, needing to end this call before I completely lose it and hurt them even more.

“Ok,” Dad says, seeming to understand. “Call again soon… even if it’s just to say hi.”

I stare out into the fog as a tear rolls down my cheek. “Ok.”

“Be safe,” he adds, his voice soft and caring.

At those words, the storm inside me surges.

I hang up without even saying goodbye as the emotion crashes over me like a wave I can't outrun. I collapse onto the deck, resting my head against the cool railing as everything I’ve been holding inside comes pouring out. The tears, the guilt, the weight of everything I’ve kept buried… It's too much.

I didn’t even tell them I’m in Nova Scotia. I didn’t tell them anything.

Why did I do this to them?

I don’t know what I was expecting when I called them. But I’ve been missing them, and the longer I stay here in Torrin Cove, the stronger that feeling grows. This place is starting to feel like home as I build a life here, living in happy moments between diminishing darkness… and falling in love. But I’ve left my parents in the dark while they manage their own pain. The pain I’m causing.

Every day I experience the strength of the MacKinnon family as I feel how deeply they care, and watch how they hold each other up, even with everything they’ve been through. And I can’t even talk to my own parents. I can’t tell them I’m just hours away and that I love them, miss them, andwantto see them.

I want to hug them and tell them I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving like I did, for cutting them out when we needed each other the most. For not letting them in so we could heal together.

I’m sorry for the pain I’m putting them through every single day.

The sobs rip through me, shaking my body as I grip the railing like it’s the only thing keeping me grounded. I can still hear my mom’s voice in my head… her understanding and loving words, laced with hurt and emotion. They still care about me so much, even when I’ve done nothing but push them away.

It hurts. It fuckinghurts.

An urgent need is quickly growing as I let everything out. And the feeling is quickly becoming unbearable.

I fucked up.

And I keep fucking up.

They don’t deserve me.

And I don’t deserve to be here.

The only thing I deserve ispain.

TWENTY-EIGHT

As I park nextto Liam’s truck in the driveway, my gaze drifts over the view of the water. The sun is just starting to go down, and the fog that clung to the ocean all day has finally burned off, revealing a beautiful, calm evening. I lean my head back against the seat as I take a moment to let the warm, comforting feeling settle. It was a long day, but it looks like it’s going to be a perfect evening with Liam.

I head into the house, and Miss Bobber greets me at the door with a soft meow.

“Hey there, Miss,” I say, bending down to pick her up. She purrs as she rubs her nose against mine, tickling me with her whiskers.

I carry her into the kitchen, my eyes immediately landing on the finished backsplash. With a smile, I set Miss Bobber down and observe the pristine grout work.

“Hey,” I call out, waiting for Liam to join me in the kitchen. But the house is quiet.

Miss Bobber winds herself around my legs as I peer out the window to the dock, but don’t see him there either.

“Where is he?” I ask Miss Bobber as I head into the living room. And then I hear the shower running upstairs.

I fill Miss Bobber’s dish with food and make my way upstairs, excitement stirring as I get closer to the bedroom. After a long day on the boat and installing some stall doors, I could use a warm shower with Liam…

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