As I bring the plates to the table, I glance over at Liam. Isla is now sitting beside him, and he’s still comfortably talking to Chris and Grandpa.
Heather sets the salad down on the table and follows my gaze. “It’s nice to have him back. You two seem to be getting along really well.”
Warmth flows through me as I watch Liam laugh at something Grandpa said, and he patiently holds his arm still while he lets Isla colour in his tattoos with a marker.
You have no idea…
TWENTY-ONE
The truck isquiet as we drive home from Theo’s mom’s, and a warm feeling lingers in my chest. Theo’s family is so welcoming and easy to get along with, I think it’s impossible not to have a good time with them. They’ve invited me in as if I’m one of their own, and tonight I felt like I truly belonged there. Even with the nerves that twisted inside me before we arrived, since I was now walking into their safe family space sharing a secret with Theo. And even though I still don’t know what this all means for us, there wasn’t one moment I felt out of place or uncomfortable while we were there.
But now, the storm is creeping back in. I once again feel at the mercy of angry winds as the wave feels like it’s about to crash and pull me back underwater.
Because his family reminds me of mine.
Guilt rises as Theo pulls into the driveway, and I keep my eyes out the window to watch the trees pass by in a blur. I haven’t talked to my family and can’t even bring myself to turn on my phone again to see if Mom texted me back. Yet here I am, having dinners with someone else’s family, pretending like I’m whole.
I miss them.
A lot.
“Hey.”
Theo’s voice breaks through the silence, and I blink as I turn to look at him. The truck is parked now, and he’s watching me with a furrowed brow and concern etched in his features.
“Sorry,” I mumble, rubbing my hand over my face.
“What’s up?” he asks cautiously.
I blow out a breath and shake my head, letting my gaze drift out the window again as my chest tightens. My mind whirls as I try to find the words to express what it is I’m feeling, but it’s all just a jumbled mess.
“Your family is great,” I say eventually, desperately trying to hold onto the last bit of warmth and happiness from the evening. The comforting smell of leftovers Cynthia sent with us fills the truck, but it also makes the ache in my chest grow.
Theo stays quiet as memories of my own family flash through my mind. Nick and both our parents sitting around the dinner table, laughing, talking, and taking life for granted. It hurts, but there’s something else there too. Something that feels like comfort, even though it’s wrapped in loss and pain.
“Mine is too,” I say quietly before I turn to meet his gaze.
His eyes are soft and steady as he watches me in the darkness, like he knows there’s more under the surface. And I want to let him in. I tried yesterday, when the grief was all consuming… but I couldn’t get the words out. I’m not brave enough to say it yet. But even just being here with him, looking into his eyes… it calms the storm inside me and pulls me out of the water.
My hand moves before my mind can catch up, reaching across the console to grasp the side of his face. His warm skin beneath my fingers reignites the warmth inside me, and I lean in to press my lips to his. His hand lifts to lightly hold my arm as I keep him here against me, and everything else falls away.The guilt, the pain… it all moves into the distance, muted by the simple fact that he’s here with me, and feels like home in a way I didn’t expect.
When I pull back and look into his eyes, he smiles softly.
“Let’s go in,” he says.
I nod, grateful as always that he never asks for more than I can give. He just… gets it.
As we step into the house, Miss Bobber greets us at the door and I smile down at her.
“Hey, little one,” I murmur, bending down to lift her into my arms. She purrs as she rubs her head against my nose, her soft fur warm against my skin as I follow Theo into the kitchen.
He opens the fridge to put the leftovers inside, but one of the containers falls and lands on the floor with a loudthud.Miss Bobber startles in my arms, her purring coming to an abrupt stop as her wide eyes lock on Theo.
“Shit,” he murmurs, bending down to pick up the fallen container, inspecting it to make sure it’s ok. Once he’s satisfied and puts it in the fridge with the others, he closes the door and turns towards me.
I watch him, brow furrowed as I hold Miss Bobber tight against my chest. He looks down at her in my arms, then up at me in confusion.
“You scared her,” I say, instinctually tightening my hold on her.