Page 19 of Tide Over

“So, you fished a lot back home?” I ask, even though I know the answer already, since he told me. But I wonder if I might be able to get a bit more out of him.

He nods. “Yeah. Not a whole lot on the boat though,” he says, gently pulling his rod back to spin the lure under the water. “I’m from Inverness, so we’re close to the Margaree River. We fished off the bridges, and it has the best fly fishing.”

I smile as I take in how relaxed he looks right now. “I actually haven’t done much fly fishing, believe it or not. But I’ve heard great things about fishing on Margaree River.”

He turns his head to look at me. “Never been?”

I shake my head. “I’ve been around Cape Breton lobster fishing with some crews growing up. Other than that, life keeps me anchored here.”

Liam is quiet for a moment as he slides his gaze out over the water again. “Hopefully you get a chance to soon.”

I don’t say anything as I try to suppress my sigh, thinking how I could actually do that. We fish six days a week during lobster season from November to June, and we’re just as busy during tuna season from August to November. But during the offseason… I just can’t make myself do anything I want to. Like I’m afraid to enjoy myself. So instead, I fill my time with carpentry work to stay busy.

We’re both quiet as the boat slowly moves along the channel, and the cool breeze nips at my skin. The sun provides a slight warmth in the cool April air, and I release a breath into it, letting go of all my thoughts and allowing this place to bring me the peace it always does.

“I can see why you like it out here so much,” Liam says, eventually breaking the silence.

I chuckle lightly. “Yeah, it’s pretty damn nice.”

“You should do it more.”

I look at him, letting my eyes roam over his soft features and relaxed posture as he continues to gently move his fishing rod back and forth.

“Maybe I will,” I say softly.

He turns his head, giving me a smirk. “And if you know of any good fly fishing spots around here, maybe I can show you how it’s done.”

A laugh bubbles out of me, and Liam’s face breaks out in a grin. And when he also laughs, I think that might be the best sound of all.

Suddenly, the end of Liam’s rod bends and he sits up straight, his hand quickly moving to the reel. As he pulls his line in, I secure my rod and lean forward to open the livewell in the floor of the boat. He effortlessly pulls the mackerel out of the water and stands up to grab the line, pulling it into the boat. As he grasps the fish, I lean forward and undo the hook from its mouth to save his fingers.

Liam tosses it into the livewell with a smile, and when his eyes meet mine, they are alive with pure joy.

And all I can do is stare back at him with a smile of my own.

He sits down again with a chuckle and casts a playful glance at me. “Maybe I’ll have to show you how this is done too.”

I laugh, opening the bait bucket and grabbing a worm from it for his hook. “Lucky catch. Just wait, I’ll be reeling them in soon.”

He laughs as well, and once the bait is on his hook and his attention is back on the water… my smile falls.

Because I can’t deny this anymore. This thing about myself that I think I’ve known for a while now, but kept buried deep, never allowing myself to even try to understand. But out here, with him… it’s so obvious.

I’ve been afraid to admit, even to myself, that I think I might be gay. But the more time I spend with Liam, the feelings I’ve pushed away for years are surfacing and overwhelming me. And I’m finally starting to listen.

He’s here, in my boat, in a space I’ve always kept for just myself. And I can’t continue to ignore the feelings I get when I’m around him.

I’m attracted to him. And I want him.

Fuck.

NINE

I watchthe tiny town pass by through the passenger window of Theo’s truck as he drives us to his mom’s for dinner. My sore fingertips press into my thigh, the rough fabric of my jeans sending a jolt of pain through them. I welcome the sensation, taking in a sharp breath as the pain courses through me, letting it serve as a reminder not to get too comfortable.

Even though I did let myself get comfortable today.

I glance over at Theo in the driver’s seat as he turns off the main street, and confusion replaces the pain. I know I shouldn’t be doing any of this. I shouldn’t be enjoying myself, going to family dinners, and laughing with him about who can catch the most fish. But today, out on the water with him… I effortlessly let it all go. I actually felt like the old me, and it felt good.

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