Page 116 of Tide Over

I force myself to meet his gaze, swallowing hard.

He gives me a soft, reassuring smile. “They’re not going to blame you,” he says gently. “You had no control over what happened. And if it wasn’t Nick…” he hesitates, but then continues, “they’d be mourning you. But right now, you know they’re just excited to see you.”

I nod slowly as his words sink in. He’s right. I’ve replayed his words in my mind a thousand times since he first said them. It was always going to be one of us. And if it had been me, I wouldn’t want Nick to be feeling the way I have been.

And Mom was so excited when I texted her yesterday to let her know I was coming… I don’t want to let her down.

“Ok,” I say, exhaling a long, shaky breath. I squeeze Theo’s hand before pulling back onto the road, and try to keep my breaths slow and even as we near my parents’ house.

But when I pull into the driveway, my hands are trembling again. I cut the engine, staring at the front porch as the door swings open. Mom steps outside, hand over her mouth as she tries to hold back tears.

Theo stays quiet, his gaze on me as I unbuckle my seat belt and step out of the truck. Mom rushes down the steps, and my body moves on its own as I walk towards her, and wrap her in a tight hug.

The sound of her cry shatters something in me, and it’s like a dam opens. Everything floods to the surface as I bury my face in her shoulder, releasing everything I haven’t let out yet.

“It’s ok, baby,” she whispers, her breath catching as she holds me.

I hear Dad’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and when I lift my head, he’s standing before us with glassy eyes.

Mom pulls back just enough to look at me, wiping a tear from my cheek. “Oh baby… mo mhac.”

Dad steps forward, wrapping me in a strong, quiet hug. I hold on tight, taking a deep breath as I try to pull myself together.

“Let’s go inside,” he says, gesturing towards the house.

But Mom peers around me, and we all turn to face Theo as he stands back, giving us space.

He steps forward with a small, almost shy wave. “Hi… I’m Theo.”

“Hi, Theo,” Mom replies, her gaze flicking between us with curiosity.

I step towards Theo and hold his gaze for a moment as I reach out for him. Then I turn back to my parents. “This is my boyfriend.”

Both my parents raise their eyebrows in surprise, but then Mom laughs softly, wiping away her tears. “Well, let’s get inside. We have a lot to catch up on.”

My heart is still pounding as I follow my parents into the house, and Theo places a reassuring hand on my back.

As we step through the door, memories immediately come flooding in. The familiar scent of home wraps around me as I sweep my eyes over the space, finding comfort in this place I grew up in. The old wood banister I used to slide down every morning while Mom yelled at me that I was going to break my neck, the creaky hallway from the backdoor that always gave me away when I tried to sneak in late, and the photos lining every inch of wall space.

I stop just before the kitchen, my eyes landing on one of my favourite pictures of Nick and me as kids, sitting on the bridge over the Margaree River as our legs dangle over the edge, wearing big smiles after a day of swimming.

Theo’s hand slips into mine, and he gives it a gentle squeeze. I turn to meet his eyes, which are warm and comforting.

We head into the kitchen as Mom pulls out mugs and sets them on the table. “Coffee?”

I nod, unable to trust my voice, and Theo smiles. “Please.”

We take a seat at the table as Mom starts preparing coffee and I rub my hand on my thigh as I take a deep breath.

Dad watches me with sadness in his eyes, then blinks it away and leans forward with a soft smile. “Did you fly in this morning?”

I glance at Theo, then shake my head. “No, I…” I pause for a moment. “I’ve been living in Nova Scotia since April.”

Mom stops pouring coffee and both her and Dad just stare back at me.

And Ihatethat I see hurt in their eyes.

This is exactly what I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to hurt them.

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