Page 61 of Tide Over

Liam’s eyes roam my face, then he lifts a hand to brush his thumb over my cheekbone. “Mo chridhe,” he murmurs.

My brow furrows. “Is that… Gaelic?”

He smiles softly with a nod.

I huff a laugh as I stare back at him in disbelief. “You speak Gaelic?”

He just nods again, still looking into my eyes.

“What does it mean?” I ask.

He leans in to kiss me softly, holding me against him for a moment. Then he pulls back just enough so his lips lightly brush over mine. “Just something to describe what you are to me.”

TWENTY-FOUR

I glidethe paint roller over the final section of the sunroom wall, the first coat of coastal blue sweeping across the drywall. I step over Miss Bobber playing at my feet so I can paint the last spot of wall, and it’s a miracle she hasn’t turned into a little blue furball. Painting with her at my feet has been quite the challenge.

The first coat is finally done though, so I set the roller down in its tray and wrap it up to keep it fresh, then give Miss Bobber all of my attention. I drag her favourite toy across the floor, and she immediately pounces on it. Her little paws bat at the furry mouse before she pulls it to her mouth and rolls onto her side, kicking her back feet at it in a ferocious attack. I can’t help but laugh at her fierce determination as I push to my feet, letting her finish her work until she’s ready for me again.

My gaze turns towards the bay window, and I sweep my eyes over the view. The pale blue ocean stretches out towards the horizon, blending into the midmorning sky until it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. It’s a perfect morning. There’s not one cloud in the sky, and the water is calm as seagulls glide gracefully overhead, occasionally dipping low to scan for fish below the surface.

Theo should be having a good day out there today. I hope he is.

I take a deep breath in, just the thought of him making my heart feel light.

I’m completely falling for him.

I’ve been drawn to him since I first came to Torrin Cove and met him in his family’s store, but the more time I’ve spent with him, the stronger that pull has become. And now that I’ve finally given in to it, my feelings for him are growing at an alarming rate. It feels good… but it’s terrifying too.

I’ve let him in, and shared things I haven’t even allowed myself to fully process yet. Memories of Nick, and how much I miss him… even attempting to tell him what really happened, and what I’ve done.

And I still haven’t even spoken to my family.

My eyes drift to the sunroom door, towards my bedroom, where my phone is buried at the bottom of my bag. It’s still switched off, like it has been since I got home two weeks ago. The usual guilt settles inside me as I think about the messages likely waiting for me, especially from Mom after the text I sent her. I haven’t had the courage to check, and read her response.

But right now, I’m tempted to look… and I don’t know what to do.

I know I’m hurting my family by staying away and keeping them in the dark about everything. About what really happened with Nick, how I’m feeling about everything, and about where I even am right now. I’m in the same province, a five-hour drive away, and they have no idea. And I only feel worse knowing they’re respecting my silence, giving me space to work through it all. But really, I’m not working through anything.

I’m hiding.

I ran away.

If I can’t face myself, how can I face them?

I look out at the water again, and a familiar memory creeps into the edges of my mind. The one that is always threatening to resurface, that I’ve been desperate to keep out so I don’t have to relive it.

But this time, I let my guard down… just a little.

A vivid image of the camp up north in Alberta flashes before me. Nick stands beside me as our supervisor tells us he wants one of us to finish maintenance on the oilfield skid. It should have been me, since I was working on it all day the day before, but I wanted a change. So I convinced Nick to do it instead.

My chest tightens as I see Nick walking towards the bay where the skid was housed, and I quickly squeeze my eyes shut to make the replay stop.

No. No, no, no, I can’t. Make it go away.

The weight of it all crashes over me, as every emotion I’ve been running from hits me all at once. Sadness, anger, guilt, regret… It’s too much. I can’t do it.

I can’t do this.

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