Page 44 of Tide Over

The quiet between us lingers as we make some sandwiches, the soft sounds of slicing bread and rustling wrappers filling the space. I grab a couple beer from the fridge, and we settle on thefloor in front of the fire, pulling cushions from the couch to sit on.

The flames cast the room in a soft, golden glow, and as we sit here and quietly eat, calm washes over me. The warmth from the fire seeps into my bones as I settle further back on the cushions, and Miss Bobber plays among the pillows and blankets.

Once we’ve finished eating, I add another log to the fire, watching the flames twist and grow as warmth spreads through the room. I take a long drink of my beer as I let the courage build inside me.

“So…” I start, picking at the label on my beer bottle. “Are you…” I trail off, not quite sure how to ask the question I’m dying to know.

Liam turns his head to look at me. “Into guys?” he finishes for me.

I nod, swallowing hard as I meet his eyes.

He holds my gaze as the reflection of the flames dance in his eyes, and everything seems to slow. Then he shakes his head softly, almost hesitantly. “I don’t know… I never have been.”

My heart skips a beat with both hope and uncertainty as I consider what that means.

“Are you?” he asks quietly.

I pause, keeping my eyes on his and forcing myself not to look away and hide again. I finally let that part of me out, and I’m surprised by how much I want it to stay.

And the longer I look into his eyes, I swear I see hope.

I nod. “Yeah,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nods as well, his eyes flicking between mine as a question brews behind them. “Why did you run?”

I release a breath and drop my gaze from his, bringing my attention to the fire. “Valid question,” I murmur, then take a drink of my beer as I think about how to answer that.

Liam just waits, his presence quiet and steady as I gather my thoughts.

“I thought I crossed a line with you,” I say. “I think I’ve known for a while that… that I’m gay.” Those words hang in the air as I shift against the cushions, pushing my fingers into Miss Bobber’s fur as she stretches out between us. My heart races as I say this all out loud for the first time, and even though it’s unnerving, a heavy weight lifts. “I’ve never done that before. With a guy. And I thought you’d freak out.” I huff out a light laugh. “Instead, I did.”

Liam chuckles lightly. “Don’t worry. I did too.”

I turn to look at him, but I’m surprised to find his eyes soft and encouraging.

“But not because of you,” he says gently.

“So, you’ve never been with a guy?” I ask, my brow furrowing a bit as I try to make sense of all of this.

He shakes his head. “No.”

Silence settles between us for a moment as rain pelts the window, and Liam sighs.

“I’ve been asking myself all these questions,” he says, looking down at Miss Bobber. “How, why… and I don’t know. All I do know is that something has been drawing me to you. And out on the dock, it just finally took over and I couldn’t stop it.”

I huff out a laugh and Liam looks up at me with a confused expression.

“Pretty sure I kissed you,” I point out.

His brows draw together, and he slowly shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”

A smile tugs at the corner of my lips, and his eyes soften with a smile as well. Even though we may not even know, or agree on who started it… it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we’re both here and having this conversation now. Because it could have been a very different one… a devastating one.

“So, Allison…?” Liam gives me a cautious look.

I nod with a sigh. “Yeah. We dated for about six months.” I turn to look into the flames again. “She lives a couple towns over, and we met when she started working at the pub. It just felt like what I was supposed to do. But I didn’t understand why I was always holding back, and why I always felt like I was forcing myself just to be present with her. Eventually, we both realized we were better off as friends. I feel bad, because she really is great, but… there was nothing there.” I swallow, picking at the label of my beer bottle again. “There’s no way there could have been.”

Liam is quiet for a moment as I keep my eyes on the fire.

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