Page 27 of Tide Over

I continue my walk back to the workshop and when I get there, the electrician, Jesse, is cleaning up his area.

“Hey,” he says, looking over his shoulder at me as I enter the space. “Good day?”

“Yeah,” I say, dropping my tools onto one of the workbenches. “Ready for bed now.”

He laughs. “Surprising how much maintenance is needed on the rig, huh? That salt water erodes everything so fast.”

I huff out a laugh, putting the welding gun back on its shelf. “Really though.”

“I think some of the guys are getting ping-pong fired up. You in?” Jesse asks, grabbing his hoodie and slipping it on.

“Next time,” I say, checking the time. It’s 9:00PM, so while it’s still early, I’m fucking exhausted from flying all day yesterday, getting the helicopter onto the rig, working a partial shift with orientation, and then a full twelve hours today. “I really am ready for bed.”

Jesse chuckles with a nod. “The first couple days of shift are always brutal. Well, we ping-pong pretty much every night, since there’s not much else to do here. So, next time for sure.”

“Sounds good,” I say, giving him a smile as he heads out of the workshop with a wave.

I’m not long getting everything put away, and by the time I get to my room, I’m really looking forward to lying down and hopefully sleeping. I didn’t get much, if any, last night and I’m going to need to sleep tonight if I have any hope of being able to function tomorrow.

My roommate is one of the roughnecks on night shift, so he’s already gone when I get here, and I’m selfishly happy about that. I don’t know if I have it in me for more small talk tonight.

But the second my head hits the pillow, my mind is racing.

It’s been busy enough since I got here that I’ve managed to avoid thinking too much, and feeling the weight of it all — of being back to work for the first time since everything went to shit. But now, as I lie here and rub my eyes, the emotions overwhelm me as they all hit at once. Guilt, sadness, and anger crash into me as images flash through my mind — fire billowing out of the work bay, my family’s tear-stained faces, a funeral that should have been mine. The reality of it all, and the fact that I am here, working a new job, without my best friend… it’s too much.

My heart thunders in my ears while my breath slips away from me, and I try not to completely lose it here in this tiny room, on a rig in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. My fingers tangle in my hair and pull tight as I squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to push through this and get my shit together. I desperately try to bury everything and put it back where it belongs, but it just keeps coming.

Until a picture of wild, windswept hair, gentle brown eyes, and soft freckles appears in my mind.

My hands release my hair and lower to my chest as I take a deep breath in, hanging onto the image of Theo in my head. I’m not sure why he’s the one I’m picturing, but the calm he brings is exactly what I need right now. So I hold onto it and remember how I felt back in his house… even if I don’t understand why.

I open my eyes and turn my head, eyeing my bag. He would probably still be awake…

I get up to grab my phone out of my bag and turn it on, almost with desperation. My heart picks up its pace again as I tap out a message to him, and I hesitate as my thumb hovers over send. But I tap it.

Hey. How’s Miss Bobber?

I lie back down on the bed, watching the screen as I chew my bottom lip. Waiting.

Theo

Hey, she’s good.

Then he sends me a photo of her, curled up on the couch, sound asleep. I smile, letting the photo of Theo’s home, and this little kitten, soothe my soul.

Her eye is looking better already.

It is. She’s a trooper.

She was asleep in your bed when I got home tonight.

I chuckle, remembering how she made herself right at home on my pillow. But as I think of Theo finding her, my heart skips a beat as I picture him in my room, sitting on my bed. And I have no idea what that means.

My fingers hover over the screen as I think of what to say back to him, but I don’t know. This feeling can’t be what I think it is…

How’s the rig?

I release a breath and shake off those thoughts and feelings, tapping out my response.

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