Page 18 of Tide Over

And as my eyes rest on him, my mind quiets.

His tattooed hand holds his coffee mug, and his dark, almost black hair blows in the light breeze. But as the early morning sun shines down on him, it only seems to highlight the darkness and sadness inside him.

The feelings I’ve pushed away and tried to ignore for so long grow louder the longer I watch him. Eventually, it becomesunbearable, and I cautiously let them in. As I grant myself a brief reprieve from the oppression I’ve imposed on myself, I open myself up to a moment of… what if. As unrealistic as it is, and as much as I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help it.

I stand from my stool and head out of the barn, crossing the lawn to the front deck.

“Morning,” I say as I climb the stairs.

Liam turns his head to look at me and smiles softly. But it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Morning.”

I stand beside him and look over the water as well. But my gaze drops to Liam’s hand as he holds his mug, and I see his red, sore looking fingertips. I want to ask him again if he’s ok, because I don’t believe his answer from last night. Even though it was dark… I’m pretty sure I know what I saw.

But Liam must realize I’m looking at his hand, as he shoves it in the pocket of his sweatpants. “What are you working on?” he asks, keeping his gaze out on the water.

“A table for a family a couple towns over,” I say, looking out at the water sparkling under the sun.

He nods, and we stand quietly for a moment as we watch the gentle waves roll over the rocks on the shore.

But those confusing and unbearable feelings are now nagging at me, pushing me further into thewhat if.Because as confusing as they are… it also feels good to give in a little bit. So I turn to face him. “There’s no rush on it though.”

Liam turns his head to meet my eyes, and his brighten.

I smile, tilting my head towards my boat in the water. “Should we catch some mackerel to take to dinner tonight?”

He smiles, and I try to ignore the flip in my stomach. He stands up straighter, and I think this might be the most alive I’ve seen him since he came here.

“Sounds good,” he says with a nod.

As he heads inside to change, I make my way back to the barn and grab my tackle box and bait. And with every step I take towards the dock, anticipation inside me grows.

I’ve never taken anyone out on my boat. While I bought this house to hide away and be alone, it’s out on the water where I truly find peace. And I’ve always kept it to myself. Because out there, I don’t have to play a part, meet expectations, and be the Theo MacKinnon everyone knows. Out there, it’s just me, the boat, and the open water, where I can let everything go as I release my thoughts, worries, and burdens with each cast of my line. And when I come back in, I leave it all out there, ready to be who I need to be.

But clearly I’m fighting against that need, because I’m bringing Liam into all of my private places.

As he joins me on the dock, and his blue eyes sparkle with excitement, I just smile. Because I have no doubts about sharing this with him. He needs this, and I think I do too.

We get into the boat, and I start up the motor as Liam unties the rope from the dock. He takes his seat next to me as I steer the boat into the open water. There’s a spot I like to go to this time of year that’s a bit sheltered from the wind by a large island, so I head that way and pick up speed. And I swear I see him take a deep breath in, and release it with a smile.

When we reach the spot, I slow down and steer us into the channel between the mainland and the island, then switch on the trolling motor. The trees are still bare since it’s early spring, but it’s private and sheltered, and the water is calm.

“Nice,” he says with a nod as he looks around.

I chuckle. “Yeah, it’s my favourite spot to fish.”

His gaze lingers on me for a moment, before he looks down at the rack holding the fishing rods. “Do you have a preference?”

“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “They’re pretty much the same.”

He pulls two rods out and hands me one, and I subtly watch him as I get mine ready. He clearly knows what he’s doing as he selects a minnow lure and cuts the line to tie it on. But he fumbles a bit as he attempts to tie the knot, and he bites back a grimace as the line seems to press into his sore fingers.

I set my rod down and lean forward, gently taking his from his hands. He lets me, and neither of us say a word as I tie off the knot, slide the bait onto the hook, and hand it back to him.

“Thanks,” he says softly, and I just nod back, dropping my lure into the water and letting my line out as I sit back in my seat.

Liam does the same, and we sit in silence as we each look out at the water. The only sounds surrounding us are the gentle lapping of water against the side of the boat, and the soft hum of the reels letting out line.

Once we each let out enough line and have closed the bail arms, I glance at him.

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