Page 43 of Fighting for Ella

How was she supposed to forget they had believed she would betray them all and go back to work like nothing had happened?

What she needed was to stop thinking about it for a while.

To stop thinking about all of it.

The mole, the Reactivator, the threats, what had almost happened in the jungle. What would have happened in thejungle if Miguel hadn't been there. Maybe if she could just block it all out of her head, she could get a few moments peace.

Peace was what she needed, and some real rest. She should probably eat something, too, only the thought of food made her nauseous. It was still early but the idea of a hot shower and bed was appealing. There had been no real rest for her since those men forced their way inside her house, which meant she was definitely running on fumes.

Only as appealing as bed sounded in some ways, in others, it left her feeling swamped with loneliness all over again.

Tears were pricking the backs of her eyes when her phone began to chirp.

As much as she wanted to leave it and spend a little time wallowing in misery before she formed a plan for what her life was going to look like moving forward, when she saw her mom’s picture on the screen, she knew she had to answer. They didn't know anything about her being accused of being a traitor and rushing off to Mexico in an attempt to save their lives, and they never would.

Most of her job was classified and her family was used to her not talking about it, but this was one time she desperately needed someone to talk to. It was so tempting to just unload everything on them, knowing with absolute certainty that they would offer her the support she needed.

But she couldn’t do that.

So instead, Ella wiped her eyes to ensure there were no giveaways to the tears that wanted to fall free, and pasted on a smile as she scooped up her phone.

“Hey, Mom,” she said in as bright a voice as she could muster as she answered the call. “What’s going on?” Since there was no way she should have known about the fake siege in her parents’ street that had allowed Prey to get them out of the house without raising suspicions, she couldn’t ask about it even though sheneeded the reassurance of hearing they were okay even if they didn't know just how close to death they’d come.

“You won't believe it, Ella-boo,” her mom said, an excited smile on her face.

“Won't believe what, Mom?” she asked, playing along even though she knew where this was heading.

“We had the most surreal experience the other night. There was a criminal holed up in a house right down the block from us,” her mom exclaimed.

“A criminal? How do you know?” Even though she couldn’t talk about what had really happened it helped just hearing her mom’s voice and knowing that while she might be traumatized by this whole ordeal, they didn't even know there was an ordeal.

“Because a whole bunch of cops came to the door and told us we had to leave, that there was a wanted criminal in a house a few doors down, that he was holed up in there with hostages and they weren't sure what he was going to do so they were evacuating everyone. We had to get into a big, black car, and cop cars were everywhere in the street. They took us to a hotel and made sure we were settled, then a few hours later we were told it was all safe to return home.”

“You make it sound like quite the adventure.” Ella wished she felt the same about the whole thing, only from her point of view it had been nothing close to a fun adventure.

“Well, I guess it was,” Mom said with a chuckle. “No one was hurt, the man was arrested, and Rachel and Sarah thought the whole thing was a lot of fun. The hotel had a pool and they got to swim even though it was the middle of the night. The only ones who didn't think it was exciting were your sister, because she’d just worked a double shift and gotten into bed, and the baby, who did not appreciate the change in his routine.”

At least they were all still alive.

There would always be time to sleep, but if she hadn't made the choices she had, she and her other two sisters might be planning seven funerals right now, including picking out three small white coffins.

Whatever it cost her, Ella knew she had done the right thing.

The same exact thing any of the other women on Athena Team would have done if their situations were reversed. The same exact thing anyone else at Prey would have done. They would have put their own life on the line in an instant, without a second thought, if it meant protecting their families. So why was she the one being vilified for doing it?

“How are Elsbeth and the baby now?” she asked, wishing she could go over there and hug everyone to reassure herself they were okay. Only there was no way she could lie to her family in person. Pretending she was fine on the phone was one thing, but in person, she’d give herself away in seconds.

“Oh, they’re fine, sweetie, all fine. We all are. It was a shock at first, and definitely exciting, it gave me a little taste of your life. I know you mostly work in a lab, but you travel a bit. I know you were out of the country when this happened because I wanted to call you, but your boss told me you were unavailable. I don’t know the things you’ve seen, or the things you’ve had to do, my sweet little Ella-boo, but I know how proud of you I am.”

Her mom’s words soothed the rough edges of her pain at being let down by the people she loved. If her mom knew that she’d put herself in a precarious situation where she’d almost been raped, almost been kept as a sex slave for a notorious weapons trafficker, and had to kill said trafficker then her mom would take back those words and probably replace them with a you're crazy.

No.

There was no way her mom couldn’t be proud of her even if she’d chosen a very different life path than the rest of her family.

The truth of what happened was on the tip of her tongue, about to burst out because Ella couldn’t hold it in any longer, when two little faces appeared on the screen behind their grandmother.

“Auntie Ella!” six-year-old Rachel enthused.

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