Page 58 of Wildest Dreams

“Yeah, it is.” My tone is sharp and accusatory.

He nods, then takes a long sip of his beer. “Now I know how you must’ve felt. I can’t believe I did that to you. You didn’t deserve it. You were nothing but sweet to me.”

“Tucker, I really don’t need your apology. I’m better off without you. It’s for the best. Really.”

“I guess it’s easy to say that, now that you’re with Pierre Chatham.”

“Pierre is none of your business.”

He nods. “You’re right.”

“Nothing in my life is any of your business,” I continue, my voice calm but firm. “Not anymore.”

“Look, I didn’t come here for you to make me feel like crap. I just—” He leans back in his chair and runs his hands through his hair. “I miss you, Ken. I made a stupid mistake. She wasn’t worth losing you. Nothing could be worth losing you.”

I stand up. “We’re done here.”

“Ken, think about it. You and me?—”

He reaches out to grab my hand, but I pull it away. “No. You and I are over. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. If you see me out, turn around and leave.”

“You think that movie star guy is going to stick around the way I will? He doesn’t even live here. And he could have?—”

“Me not wanting to be with you has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here today. I hope you figure yourself out, Tucker, I really do, but you’re going to have to do that without me.”

With that, I walk to my car and drive home.

PIERRE

Time itself has changed since I got back to California.

My once-hectic, too-busy-to-think, onto-the-next-thing mentality has slowed to a halt. I still have a lot of obligations and things to do, but these are day fillers. I feel like I’m going through the motions and leading a completely empty, meaningless life. I miss Kendall so much it hurts. I miss Magnolia Row.

Hell, I even miss Bertha.

My schedule has been non-stop with promoting an action film I shot beforeGossamer Road. It’s coming out in October and the press tour is exhausting. I have upcoming appearances on every late-night show in LA and even have to fly to London to do Graham Norton’s show when the film comes out. The publicist wanted me to do Saturday Night Live, but my agent was able to get me out of it. I’m too empty to be funny right now.

I wonder if Kendall is struggling like I am. I wonder if she thinks of me as often as I think of her. I wonder if she’s moving on with some local guy who won’t leave her to go back to his career in another state after a few weeks.

I should’ve asked her to come to California with me. We should’ve talked about making this work, somehow. I have so many regrets, so many things I never said. I know I need to respect her privacy and her wishes to leave our relationship as it was, but it’s excruciating.

My agent keeps sending me scripts for future projects since I don’t have anything lined up afterGossamer Roadis released next year, and there are some projects that sound interesting, but part of me wants to keep my life open, just in case.

In the meantime, I’m wearing my Cattywampus shirt every time I leave the house in the hopes Kendall will see a paparazzi photo of me in it and know how much it—and she—mean to me. It’s my passive aggressive way of begging her to reach out.

KENDALL

Months go by, and I still feel the void left by Pierre as acutely as I did in the days after he left.

I still haven’t talked to him. What’s the point? It would keep these feelings lingering for even longer than they already are. He’s probably moved on to another movie in another town with some beautiful starlet who will be comfortable going to parties with him at Jennifer Aniston’s house.

I avoid social media completely on the off-chance a gossip site will post a photo of him. If I see him right now, my heart will break into a million pieces.

So, I focus on me. I read romance novels. I watch murder shows. I hang out with my girlfriends and go to Patsy’s kids’ soccer games. I even take a few trips to Florida to see my parents, which always turns into me dodging questions about Pierre.

The holidays approach and Patsy decorates the office with a Christmas tree. I even put one up at my house, along with some porcelain snowmen and lights along the front porch rail.

The day before I’m set to leave for my parents’ house to celebrate the holidays with them, Patsy comes into my office. She’s wearing a Santa hat with a red and white striped dress and is holding her phone.

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