Page 50 of Phoenix Rising

"You're doing everything you can, Mom," Ember said, reading the troubled expression on her face. "And it's okay if you're not ready to let go of her just yet. It's not an easy thing to do. But you need to stop punishing yourself for it."

Becky inhaled deeply, the scent of the evening air drifting through the open kitchen window. The world outside was peaceful, starkly contrasting to the storm brewing inside her. She glanced at the clock, realizing how late it had gotten. She had been home a while now yet it seemed like no time at all. Time seemed to slip away when she was lost in her thoughts.

"I guess you're right," Becky finally admitted. "But I don’t know how to move forward. It’s not like I can flip a switch and stop caring about her."

"No one expects you to," Ember said. "But you can't keep beating yourself up either. It's okay to miss her, to still care. But don’t let it consume you. You have to make space for yourself too."

Becky sighed, feeling the weight of her daughter’s words settle over her. She knew Ember was right. There had to be a balance between holdingon and letting go, between mourning the loss of what was and opening herself up to the possibility of something new, even if that possibility terrified her.

"When did you get so wise?" Becky said, forcing a small smile as she looked at Ember.

Ember laughed, her face lighting up. "I just get it from you. Strong women raise strong women, right?"

Josephine rolled her eyes, nudging Ember. "Oh, come on. You're going to give her a god complex."

“She already had that to begin with," Ember joked.

Becky chuckled softly. For all her bravado, for all her years of experience as a fire chief, the truth was that relationships—real, meaningful relationships—were still an enigma to her. She knew how to lead a team and make split-second decisions that saved lives, but when it came to her heart, she was lost.

The three of them sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the evening light fading outside, casting long shadows across the room. Natalie was watching something on an iPad with headphones on.

Becky stared out the window, her mind driftingback to Lucinda once again. She could see her so clearly—those stormy eyes that made her heart shudder, the way her smile could disarm all of Becky's defenses. But then, just as quickly, the memory shifted to the fights, the distance that had grown between them, and Lucinda’s refusal to commit.

It wasn’t just about the breakup. It was about how Lucinda had made Becky feel like she wasn’t enough. No matter how much she tried, no matter how much she gave, it would never be enough to get Lucinda to stay. That was the part that hurt the most: the rejection, the sense of not being worth the risk.

Becky stared at her phone for a long moment after her conversation with Ember and Josephine, the emotions from the day still raging in her chest like a tempest she couldn’t quite calm. She had expected the evening to end in solitude, as most of her recent days had—just her, her thoughts, and the ever-present ache of missing Lucinda. But tonight felt different. Maybe it was the honest conversation with her daughter and Josephine, or perhaps it was the realization that she didn’t have to carry all of this weight alone.

As she sat there, Ember broke the silence witha soft, hesitant voice. "Mom, why don’t we stay in tonight?"

Becky raised an eyebrow. "Stay in?"

"Yeah," Ember continued, her eyes hopeful. "You’ve been cooped up in your own head for so long, and I think you need a break from it all. We could have a movie night. Josephine, Natalie and I can spend the night!"

“Yay!” Natalie screamed, running round the room in enthusiasm.

Josephine chimed in, her smile gentle but encouraging, "It might do you some good. You haven’t really taken any time for yourself lately, and I think you deserve it. Plus, I’ve got popcorn, and Ember has some terrible movie suggestions."

Ember scoffed. "My movie taste is impeccable, thank you very much."

Becky couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped her, the tension in her shoulders easing just a bit. It was tempting, the idea of spending the evening with her granddaughter, daughter and best friend, laughing over cheesy movies and forgetting, even if just for a few hours. The idea of filling the quiet space in her home with laughter instead of lingering sadness seemed like the break she didn’t know she needed.

"I don’t know…" Becky began, though the reluctance in her voice was half-hearted.

"Oh, come on," Ember said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "We can watch that old disaster movie you love. You know, the one with the volcano or whatever?"

Becky rolled her eyes. "That movie is terrible. The science is all wrong."

"Exactly! That’s what makes it fun," Ember teased. "You get to critique the entire thing, and Josephine, Natalie and I will just sit back and listen to you rant about how unrealistic it all is."

“Yeah!” Natalie called out, not sure what she was agreeing to, but super keen anyway.

Josephine smirked. "It’s a win-win situation, really. You get to vent your frustration, we get to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, and we all have a good time."

"Alright," Becky said, finally relenting. "But Natalie and I are picking the movie."

Ember clapped her hands in victory. "Deal! I’ll make the popcorn. Josephine, you get the drinks."

Josephine gave Becky a wink as she headed toward the fridge. "Coming right up."

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