Page 49 of Phoenix Rising

It was clear they were having a lively conversation, completely unaware of the storm brewing in Becky’s heart.

Becky took a deep breath and tried to muster a smile before walking into the kitchen. Ember wasleaning against the kitchen counter while Josephine sat at the table, an empty mug sitting at her side. Natalie ran up to her smiling.

“Gran Becky, I missed you! Look at this drawing I did. This is you and this is me.” Natalie pointed to the mess of coloured lines on the paper.

“Oh, wow, Natalie. What an artist you are.” Becky swooped her up and spun her around, kissing her as Natalie giggled.

"So, we're just abusing the power of my house keys?" Becky joked to Ember.

"I was dragged here against my will." Josephine chuckled.

Becky put her bag on the counter with Natalie still clinging onto her hip. "And yet you're drinking my coffee."

“Hey, Mom!” Ember said brightly, her eyes lighting up. “How was your day?”

Becky forced a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Oh, you know, just another day in paradise.”

Ember raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “You’re not fooling anyone. Come on, tell us what happened.”

Becky sighed and sank into a chair at the table. "Nothing happened. It was just another day."

Josephine and Ember exchanged a knowing look.

“Natalie, baby, why don’t you go and see Mr Piddles- he is just out in the yard.” Ember gestured to the fat old ginger cat that liked to hang out in Becky’s yard. The doors were wide open and they could all see Natalie as she enthusiastically went to greet the cat.

“Hey, Mom,” Ember said softly, sitting down beside her. “We’ve been worried about you. You’ve been avoiding everything and everyone. Also everyone at the firehouse is scared shitless to cross your path."

Becky looked at the tiled floor. "Who said that?"

"Everyone," Josephine and Ember said in unison.

Becky laughed grimly and wiped a hand over her face. "This breakup is taking a toll on me, huh?"

Josephine placed a hand on Becky's shoulder. “You haven't acted like this before. It's been weeks since you guys broke it off."

"It's because I haven't felt this way before," Becky snapped. "I think about her all the time. My heart aches in the places she used to fill. I look around and see her absence everywhere."

Ember looked at Josephine. Josephine nodded.

"It’s okay to feel that way. Sometimes taking a step back and allowing yourself to feel the pain is part of the healing process. But it’s also important to eventually face those feelings and figure out what you need to move forward,” Ember said cautiously, as if giving advice to her mother was like walking across a field of landmines.

Becky sighed, feeling the weight of her emotions pressing down on her. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to Lucinda again. I’m still processing everything, and I’m afraid of making things worse.”

Ember nodded understandingly. “It’s completely normal to need time to process your feelings. But remember, avoiding the situation doesn’t make it go away. At some point, you’ll have to confront it, even if it’s just for your peace of mind.”

Josephine added gently, “And remember that you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here for you, and we’ll support you no matter what. When you’re ready, you can take the next step with Lucinda or you can choose a different path. Whatever you decide, it’s important to do what feels right for you.”

Becky took a deep breath. "I just always feel like I'm the one who is trying to connect and figure shit out."

Josephine bit her lip. "Then she's not the one for you."

A shard of ice pierced Becky's heart at the thought. She sat silently, her mind swirling with conflicting emotions. The idea that Lucinda might not be the one for her gnawed at the back of her mind like a splinter she couldn’t remove. She didn’t want to believe it. How could someone who made her feel so alive, so seen, not be the person she was meant to be with? But the truth was, the relationship had left her feeling hollow and confused. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how much effort she'd been putting into holding things together and how Lucinda had seemed to always keep her at arm's length.

"Maybe you're right," Becky muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I don't want to admit it yet."

Ember shrugged. "You don't have to admit it yet. You don’t have to do anything right now. We’re here for you."

Becky nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. She appreciated the support, but it didn’tmake the pain any less. The heartache was still there, simmering beneath the surface, waiting for the quiet moments to strike her with full force.

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