Page 43 of Phoenix Rising

Becky’s eyes stung. “But what? I tried to talk to her, but she just ran out. How can I fix something if I don't know what's wrong?"

Josephine’s voice softened. “People have their own demons, Becks. Sometimes they react in ways that don’t make sense to others. Lucinda might be struggling with something unbeknownst to us."

“Why couldn’t she just talk to me? Why does she have to run away and leave me in the dark? I could fix it if she would just..." She stopped talking before the frustration could overtake her.

Josephine reached out, placing a hand on Becky’s arm. “Sometimes people need space to figure things out. It’s not fair to you, but it’s also not your fault."

“I get that, but she's making me feel like I’mbeing punished for something I don’t even understand.”

Josephine nodded. "Then maybe you should let this go."

Josephine’s advice clanged in her head the whole ride home. The weight of the morning’s events felt heavier now that she was alone. Did she want to keep dealing with this with Lucinda? Or should she break it off? She didn't want to stop seeing Lucinda, though. If anything, she wanted more from her. She wanted everything: Lucinda's sweet laughter, her reassuring smiles, and her wit. Becky wantedher.It hurt to think that it might all be unraveling because of something she couldn’t even understand.

By late evening, Becky returned to her house and opened her phone to find a text from Lucinda. The message was short and cryptic.

Lucinda: Can we talk?

Her heart plummeted into her stomach. That question never ended with a good laugh. Becky responded quickly.

Becky: When and where?

Lucinda: Tomorrow at the cafe on North St at 5.

Becky: See you then.

The hours seemed to drag on as Becky prepared herself for the conversation. She dressed carefully, wanting to feel confident. The café was a cozy place they had frequented. Well, where Becky frequented to get Lucinda's sugary coffee drinks. Becky hoped that the familiar setting might ease the tension between them.

Becky claimed a seat on the patio after grabbing a tea for herself and a caramel latte for Lucinda. At 5 p.m., Lucinda walked in, her face an unreadable mix of emotions. She looked around and spotted Becky, her expression shifting between sadness and resolve. Becky stood up, smiling, but everything felt forced.

“Hey,” Becky said softly.

Lucinda took a seat in front of her. “Hi.”

"I got you this." Becky pushed over the coffee drink. "It's probably not sweet enough for you."

Lucinda smiled sadly. "Thanks.

The initial awkwardness was palpable as Lucinda fidgeted with her untouched drink. Becky broke the silence first.

“I’ve been trying to understand what happened yesterday,” she said, her voice more delicate than she anticipated. “I didn’t mean for things to get so...complicated.”

Lucinda’s eyes were filled with a mix of sadness and frustration. “It’s not just about this yesterday. It’s about everything.”

Becky’s heart sank. “What do you mean? We’ve been taking things slow, and I thought we were making progress. What’s going on?”

Lucinda took a deep breath, her gaze fixed on the table. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of things on my own, and I didn’t realize how much it would affect us. I’ve got these fears and insecurities that I haven’t been able to shake.”

Becky leaned in, her voice soft and earnest. “You can tell me anything, Lucinda. I want to understand.”

Lucinda’s eyes met Becky’s, and for a moment, there was a flicker of vulnerability. “It’s not that simple. I’ve been trying to protect myself from getting hurt, and when things start to feel too real, I panic. I thought I was ready for this, but then I realized I’m not. This is…this is too much."

"You mean I'm too much," Becky confirmed.

"No, I mean—" Lucinda started.

“But I wouldn't hurt you. You have to understand that,” Becky cut in. "I would never want to."

"I don't know that for sure." Lucinda didn't look at her. "You could let me down at any time, and Idon't want you getting involved with my personal bullshit."

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