Page 40 of Phoenix Rising

No, she wasn't okay! She was panicked and felt closed in. Lucinda wanted to flee, she wanted to fight, and she needed her own house.

Lucinda went back into Becky's room, gathering her strewn-about clothes from the night before and putting them on.

"Lucinda, what's wrong?" Becky watched as she got dressed.

"Nothing," Lucinda lied. "I just remembered I have some things to do today, and it's already 8:30."

"Did my dad seeing us freak you out?" Becky asked.

Yes."No. I just need to go home." Lucinda walked out to the living room and grabbed her cell phone to order a ride.

Becky followed her. "Let me just get dressed, and I can drive you?—"

"I already ordered a car. Thank you, though."

Lucinda went to open the door, but Becky's hand pushed it shut.

"Lucinda." Her voice was calm but demanding. "Talk to me."

What could she say? That she had just beenwondering what her life could be like with Becky? That she was just thinking about living with her in this house? That she dreamed of sex-filled nights and soft jazz mornings? No, all of that became too real when Patrick had said the word “girlfriend.” Lucinda couldn't have a girlfriend because girlfriends were cursed to leave her.

Ice queen.

Cold-hearted bitch.

Just marry your fucking job, then! We're done!

"I have an important meeting today, and I need to go. I'll text you later." Lucinda pulled the door open and rushed around the corner to meet the hired driver.

Lucinda didn't want to embarrass herself further by waiting in Becky's front yard. What if someone saw her?

When Lucinda finally made it home, she saw a text from Becky.

Becky: Let me know when ur home

Lucinda: Home.

Why did she send it with a period? That was going to make her seem cold. Bloody hell, why was she doing everything wrong? She plopped face-first on the couch, trying to figure out what to do next.

Shower. Get dressed. Eat, if she could stomach it. Work. Yes, that seemed like a good plan. Whenever she didn't know what to do with herself, she would just press more into her work. Take more hours at the hospital and flood her senses with paperwork and patients. She needed to clear her head.

After cleaning herself up, she fled to work. She asked her assistant, Clara, to bring her any unfinished paperwork she had been avoiding. Lucinda locked herself in her office until she couldn't stand to read another word. She dragged herself home, not even playing music in the car, just sitting in the cold silence.

By the time she got home, she totally forgot that she and Artie were supposed to have dinner until she saw him standing outside her apartment door.

"Oh gosh! Have you been waiting long?" Lucinda hurriedly unlocked her door, letting the both of them in.

Artie pushed down the hood of his jacket, looking around her apartment. "Nah, I just gothere five minutes ago. I figured you'd be caught in traffic."

"Thanks for waiting." She threw her work bag on a chair.

"What happened?" Archie sat at the dining table, eyeing her suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" Lucinda grabbed some forks and plates.

"You got that look. The 'I'm in hell, and I'm drowning' look."

Lucinda blushed, pushing a plate toward Artie. "I feel like we always talk about me. What's happening in your life?"

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