Page 78 of Be Less Panda

‘Any more revelations?’ Nancy asked.

‘No, that’s everything. You know all my secrets now. Shall we walk back to the café? I could do with a beer after all that,’ Klaus laughed.

‘You can buy me a red wine while you’re at it,’ she said.

‘It will be my pleasure. Do you forgive me?’

‘I need to think about it. But being loyal to your country isn’t a bad thing, I suppose.’

‘That sounds promising.’ He stood up and offered her his arm. She slipped her hand through the crook in his elbow and picked up her bag.

For a second, she thought he was going to bend over and kiss her, but a blood-curdling scream ruined the moment. They looked behind the bench to see where it had come from.

‘Hello, Olivia,’ Klaus said to the woman sprawled in the small ditch behind the bench.

‘I told you those Louboutins weren’t designed for spying,’ Nancy said as Olivia sat outside the cafe. Her injured ankle was resting on another chair while Nancy wrapped it with a crepe bandage kindly supplied by the waiter from the cafe’s first aid kit.

‘You know I can’t wear flat shoes after all this time in heels. My calf muscles are too short. Ooh.’ She winced.

‘Is that too tight?’ Nancy asked.

‘No, it will be fine. My foot doesn’t need a blood supply.’

Nancy started loosening the bandage slightly. ‘What I don’t understand is why you decided to leap down the bank.’

‘It was less of a leap and more of a step forward into nothingness, then my other foot slipped, and I made a rather graceless appearance behind you.’

‘Ruining a significant moment,’ Nancy said pointedly.

‘And ruining my Louboutins!’ Olivia waved the shoe with the broken heel in front of Nancy’s face. ‘I thought Hans was going to assault you, and you must have, too - you put your bag on your right shoulder.’

Nancy sighed. ‘I put it on my left shoulder.’

‘No, it was definitely your right.’

‘It couldn’t have been. I put my right hand through Hans’ arm. I always walk on his left.’

‘You sound like an old couple who’ve been together forever.’

Nancy smiled. ‘I don’t know about that, but we have the potential to be an old couple.’

Olivia raised an eyebrow. ‘Even though he lied to you about who he was?’

‘He had his reasons. I’m still trying to work out how I feel about those.’

‘Well, I’m sorry if I got in the way of geriatric love. But you know I get confused between right and left.’

‘Which is why you should have come up with another signal. If I hadn’t been so distracted by the prospect of meeting him, I would’ve thought of that as soon as you suggested it. It should’ve been something more obvious, such as me calling out for help.’

Klaus returned from the toilet. ‘Do you need help?’ He sounded concerned.

‘No,’ said Nancy. ‘I was … it doesn’t matter. What does matter is how we get Olivia back to the hotel.’

‘We could book an Uber?’ Olivia suggested.

‘Could we?’ Klaus didn’t sound sure. ‘I was thinking I would flag down a taxi.’

Olivia looked disgusted. ‘That’s so 1964. An Uber will be far more efficient. We can wait here until it arrives. But they won’t be able to drive through the barrier. You’ll have to help me walk the 300 metres to get to the main road.’

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