Page 4 of Be Less Panda

‘No. That’s her sister. Auntie Beryl bought a car while Mercury was in retrograde, and it ended up in the river with her in it.’

‘Are you saying Mercury’s gravitational pull caused it to veer off the road?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous. She mistook the accelerator for the brake pedal and went careering across the car park and over the bank into the water. She was alright, but the car was a write-off.’

‘I see. Well, thank you for your sage advice, but ...’

‘You’re going to ignore it again, aren’t you?’ Kizzy folded her arms and gave Lucy one of her disapproving looks.

‘I was going to say I have no control over this particular major change. Em is pregnant.’

Kizzy’s demeanour changed completely. ‘That’s wonderful news! You’re going to be a … ‘ she looked puzzled. ‘What are you going to be?’

It was a fair question. ‘I guess I’ll be one of those aunties who’s not actually an auntie and annoys Jack and Em by turning up with lots of bad stuff to spoil their child.’

Lucy was looking forward to that, but the downside was the new arrival was bound to change her relationship with her best friend for the first few years, at least. Once Carver Junior arrived, Em wouldn’t have time to jump on a call to discuss Lucy’s latest dilemma, and Lucy wasn’t in a position to help Em with child-rearing advice. Lucy had seen it already with their mutual friend Ella. Everything revolved around the baby, and she hadn’t even given birth yet.

‘Will they ask you to be a godmother?’ Kizzy asked.

‘I think that would be a bit hypocritical, don’t you? Neither Em nor I have set foot in a church except for the occasional wedding or funeral. Though I’m not sure where Jack stands on all that.’

Was Jack religious? Em had never mentioned it, and they’d married in a registry office, so it was unlikely. Though being divorced, Jack wouldn’t have been allowed to marry in church. But weren’t they more lenient about that now? She’d have to ask Mark when she got home later. As his best friend since childhood, Mark would know - unless Jack had discovered religion during that couple of years when they’d fallen out with one another.

‘Lucy!’

‘Sorry, I was just pondering Jack’s religious beliefs.’

Kizzy huffed. ‘I hope you don’t think I’m speaking out of turn, but you keep disappearing off in a daydream lately.’

‘Do I?’

‘Yes. You did it yesterday in that meeting with Harry. She was trying to engage you in what strategy you thought best for marketing those hideous toilet seats, and you kept gazing out of the window. I hope she doesn’t get fed up and clear off to another company.’

Lucy hoped that, too. Having her business partner stay in the office here in Birmingham was key to Lucy and Mark’s big plan to go globetrotting later this year. Harry would be looking after face-to-face client meetings while Lucy did all the creative strategy stuff remotely, in between visiting scenic locations and downing the occasional margarita by the pool. Meanwhile, Mark would be doing whatever he was going to do, which was up for debate now that he’d walked out on his temporary solicitor’s job after less than a week.

‘I can’t stand being stuck in the office,’ he’d said. ‘My mind keeps straying back to sun, sea and sand, and there isn’t much of any of those in Birmingham in February, apart from the big pile of sand on the building site next door.’

Lucy hadn’t been surprised. Swapping running his own jet ski hire business on the Costa del Sol for going back to poring over property contracts was never going to be easy.

‘Lucy! You’re doing it again. Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?’

Perhaps that was the problem. She hadn’t had much rest since Mark moved in last month. They had a lot of lost time to make up for.

‘I think my nocturnal activities are my business. Now, are you going to get me that latte I asked for?’

Kizzy pointed to the takeout coffee cup and raised her eyebrows.

Shit. Had she really missed Kizzy putting it down next to her? She was going to have to try to get more sleep. Or a holiday. Now, that was an interesting thought. With Mark no longer tied down by a job, there was nothing to stop them from starting their travel plans sooner.

‘I’ve got a little project for you this afternoon, Kizz. Go through my diary between now and the end of March, and work out which week I can easily work remotely. Then sort out some flights to Venice for me and Mark.’

‘That comes under the category of “big decision”,’ a disapproving Kizzy replied.

‘Technically, it’s not. I’m bringing an existing decision forward, that’s all. Mark and I agreed at Christmas that we’d start with a test trip to Italy. I’ve no idea what Mercury was up to them, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t in retrograde.’

Kizzy grudgingly picked up her notepad. ‘Return flights?’

Lucy shook her head. ‘We can stop with my folks in Tuscany after a couple of days in Venice, then fly back from Florence. Find somewhere swanky to stay in Venice with good wifi. I need to confirm that working remotely is really possible.’

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