Page 13 of Be More Lucy

‘Our news is hot off the press,’ Cynthia said, oblivious to Jack’s discomfort. ‘We haven’t told anyone else. And we haven’t set a date yet, either. Your dad’s taking me to the Jewellery Quarter this week to choose an engagement ring. A sapphire with diamonds like Princess Diana’s, I thought. What do you think, Roger?’

‘Whatever makes you happy, my love,’ he said.

‘We’re not going to have a big do,’ Cynthia continued. ‘I’ll be asking my two little great nieces to be flower girls. No grown-up bridesmaids.’ Cynthia put her hand on Em’s. ‘I hope that’s not a disappointment.’

‘No, that’s absolutely fine.’ Much as she liked Cynthia, Em had no desire to walk behind her up the aisle. She glanced over at Jack. He had put his cutlery down and was looking absent-mindedly out of the window.

‘Roast parsnips, Jack?’ Cynthia asked, waving a dish of what looked like wedge-shaped charcoal sticks at him.

Jack had barely said a word since they’d driven away from her dad’s house half an hour ago. It wasn’t a companionable silence - the atmosphere in the car was tense. Em couldn’t stand it any longer.

‘What’s wrong, Jack?’

They were approaching a motorway services. He silently took the exit, drove into the car park, found a parking spot and switched off the engine. He turned to look Em in the face.

‘I think we should have a break,’ he said.

‘Yes. I could do with a drink.’ Em undid her seat belt. Whatever was bothering him, it would be easier to discuss it face to face over a hot drink.

‘No. I mean a break in our relationship. Live apart. Go out with other people. See if we genuinely do love one another.’

Em froze. Where the hell had that come from? ‘How have you gone from wanting to marry me yesterday to wanting to split up today?’

‘You seriously don’t know?’ He laughed, but he looked like he was about to cry too. ‘You’ve spent most of this afternoon enthusing with Cynthia and your father about their wedding plans as if marriage was the best idea ever. But you don’t want to get married to me. It hurts, Em. It really hurts.’

She was going to have to bring her proposal forward before this all ended disastrously. Em went to put her arm around him, but he moved away. ‘Jack, I …’

He cut across her words. ‘No. I understand you’ve had a bad time emotionally. But so have I. I need someone who’s willing to commit to me. And you don’t want to do that. I know it sounds crazy when it took me years to get out of my marriage to Isabella, but I trust you. And yet you want to be able to walk away if you ever need to. I can’t live like that.’ He looked out of the window.

‘I’m not going to leave you. I don’t want anyone else. I love you. I want us to grow old together, have children together, and not necessarily in that order. I’ve been thinking it through since you asked. Jack, I do want to marry you.’

He looked exasperated. ‘And now I feel I’ve emotionally blackmailed you into it.’

‘No, you haven’t. I was going to talk to you about it when we got back home tonight.’

‘Are you sure you’re not just saying that?’ He turned to look at Em again.

‘No. Yes. I mean, I am sure. You caught me by surprise yesterday. I’ve had time to think it through properly since then. Ask Lucy if you don’t believe me.’ Em took his hand in hers. ‘Jack Carver. Will you marry me?’

He looked as if he didn’t know what to say. She realised he was holding his breath.

‘Well, will you?’ Surely he wasn’t going to change his mind now.

He remembered to start breathing again and let out an enormous sigh. ‘You’ve taken me by surprise.’ He kissed the hand that was holding his face. ’Yes, I will.’

‘Not quite the marriage proposal I thought we’d have.’

‘No. I’m glad you didn’t plan it to be like this,’ Jack laughed. ‘Gloucester Services would have been so much better.’

8

Lucy looked at the large clock on the kitchen wall. 7 pm. Any minute now. The doorbell rang right on cue. Adam was always punctual on Sunday evenings, she’d give him that.

Lucy strode to the door and checked the video feed. Yes, there was Adam in his usual jacket and jeans. She pressed the entry button and watched him disappear from the screen as she opened the front door to her apartment. His footsteps grew louder as he ascended the stairs several steps at a time. He was keen this evening.

‘Hi, darling. I’m so glad to see you,’ he said as he walked through the door.

Always darling, never Lucy. When she’d thought back over all their previous encounters looking for clues to his double life, she’d realised that Adam never used her name. No risk of accidentally calling her the wrong one that way, she guessed.

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