Page 50 of Who's Your Daddy

One stuffed animal on the couch.

Office stuff in the dining room since I didn’t use it anyway.

The rest of his toys and goodies in the bedroom.

By the time I’d laid out his clothes and made sure his toys were within easy reach, Terrence had started talking to himself in the living room. “That’s the one who only makes pies because she can’t cook anything else. That’s weird. Pies are hard, but I won’t say that since it’s not polite.”

The one-sided conversation just got funnier as he talked about the stories he’d heard from us, but my favorite part was when he got to Uncle Alonzo and giggled. “Yes, you look like you had a naughty boy phase when you were younger. But man, you’re like a thousand now.”

He wasn’t wrong but I managed not to laugh as I closed all the curtains at the back of the house and made my way back to the living room. I was prepared to wait for him to finish surfacing, but he glanced over at me and smiled. “This is wonderful, and you guys are all on here too.”

We really needed to put our faces on the fucking website next time we redesigned it.

“I’m glad it’s helpful.” He must’ve heard the honesty in my voice because he smiled wider and headed in my direction.

When he was wrapped in my arms and looking like he felt more confident, I kissed his head. “Okay, your computer stuff is on my dining room table since I don’t use it at all.”

That got a giggle out of him as I pointed in the direction he’d need to go to find his stuff. “Your teddy bear is on the couch and the rest of your toys are in the bedroom. He’s a construction worker, so it’s cute and I’m allowed to get you something adorable to help seduce you. It’s a well-known dating fact, so besides teasing me, no one will think to question it.”

Letting out a deep breath, Terrence nodded. “That’s a good point. I haven’t dated enough nice regular guys to have dealt with that.”

He’d just dated dickheads.

“You’re a quick learner and I’m going to make sure I point out as many of those things as I can think of.” So he didn’t out himself accidentally. “The rest of your stuff is in the bedroom. Would you like to look at the board more or are you ready for an orgasm or a shower?”

I loved the fun questions I got to ask him so logically, and I loved how happy they made him too. He sighed and snuggled into me, rubbing his face against my chest. “An orgasm, please. Something relaxing. Then I’ll get a shower.”

When his arm came up, I was expecting to be hugged but he just sniffed his pit. “Unless I stink?”

I managed not to laugh because I wanted him to wait to have his orgasm until we were cuddled and I was making it happendeliberately, but it was almost impossible. “Nope. You smell like you.”

“That’s good.” Mumbling something about some people being smell stupid, he cut it off fairly quickly and straightened long enough to kiss my cheek. “You’re so smart.”

“Thank you.” Kissing his head, I decided to shift us to more practical things so I didn’t accidentally make him orgasm in the living room. He was just so funny it was dangerous. “Okay, a few things to remember.”

He nodded and patted my chest. “Yes, Daddy.”

Before he could give himself crap for not calling me Enzo, I hit the highlights. “My parents live behind me. It was a strategic error I made when the price for this house was low and I hadn’t realized how fucking nosy the whole family is. Youth blinds you to important facts of life sometimes.”

He did his best not to laugh but his whole body was jerking with the effort.

“I know.” I’d been stupid. “But to prevent problems, I’ve closed the curtains in the back of the house and all the doors have been deadbolted. No one can peek in windows or let themselves in under the guise of helping me do something ridiculous.”

And his laughter finally escaped.

“I know. I know.” Shaking my head only made him giggle more. “I’m not hiding you. I’m protecting you from a thousand nosy relatives. Ignore the doorbell. It will ring. It will ring several times over the next two hours. We are not opening the door until we’re ready. Period. Not even if they say a cat is stuck up a tree.”

Terrence went very still and lifted his head. “Oh, they’re nosyandnaughty?”

“Yes.” I wasn’t going to lie about that and leave him unprepared. “So don’t open the door unless you actually see fire. Not just smoke. No cats in trees. No animals hiding under their car. No help looking for one of the cousins that wandered off. The youngest at this point is about twenty. It’s a complete scam.”

That they’d already pulled on an unsuspecting and completely unprepared new girlfriend.

“Okay, no kids young enough to lose and I offer to call the cops if they need help.” Nodding to himself, he took the instructions seriously. “I’m not sure I’m the right person to help in those situations anyway.”

No.

He’d end up stuck in the tree with the nonexistent cat.

---