Page 28 of Just My Ex

He rotates his head back around a little so I can hear him. “There’s a little spot up here that I used to go to as a kid.” He motions in front of him. “Almost there.”

He never brought me to this lake when we were together, a point that didn’t seem out of the ordinary at the time. He certainly talked about it a lot, and we came to Longdale when I was pregnant with Navie for a quick visit with Stella. Every visit with family was quick back then.

But now, it all adds up, every avoidance of sharing things with me combine into a cohesive whole.

Henry didn’t make himself known to me when we were married, not really.

Case in point: this lake, this rise above it, and the incredible view, all vital parts of his childhood but something kept at arm’s length.

A tangible example of why we couldn’t continue to grow a life together.

It’s good to have reminders of that. And this place? Longdale Lake? It’s all about Henry and his closed-off life.

He stops, above the lake, on this mini mountain of sorts, his hands on his hips, breathing hard.

I stop, too, but only because he does.

“Wow,” I manage between breaths. “This view.”

It’s not that we’re particularly high up. But now that we’re here, the drier, scrubbier parts of the brilliant blue lake are below us and we’re closer to the panoramic views of evergreens, pines, and Quaking Aspens. The wind tickles past me, and I break out in goosebumps.

I rub my arms, and he seems to notice, stepping closer. He doesn’t touch me, and that reminds me of something.

“You laid it all out in the meeting last night. And I’m willing to do my best to follow your protocol to make this work and for Navie’s sake.” I raise my chin. “But I have some stipulations, too.”

“Stipulations?” He’s not looking at me. Scanning the horizon, his gaze goes between the lake and the sky, over and over again.

“We could call them rules.”

At this, he flicks a glance at me. “I guess that’s fair.”

“Yep. As I’m sure you know, it’s not easy for me to be here.”

He nods and looks away.

“So I think, in light of that, we should be really careful about what we’re conveying to Navie.”

“What do you mean?”

“She can’t get the wrong idea. She doesn’t even really understand marriage and divorce, but we can’t have her thinking we’re back together as a family. Not that she even remembers when we were.”

“Right.” But his voice is gravelly.

“So we both need to make it very clear to her that you’ll be going back to D.C. and she and I will be going back to California as soon as possible. I’m scared all of this will confuse her.”

“Makes sense. I’ll do my best to help her understand that.”

“Thank you. And I don’t think we should talk about the past. There’s nothing to gain from dredging all that up again. We tried. It didn’t work. The end.” A steely pain throbs above my temple at those words. They’re icky, vile words. I don’t want to speak them. But they’re for the best.

He only nods, now looking down at the ground.

“And we can’t touch each other. It would just be confusing to Navie.”

And me. It would be confusing to me.

“I agree. Touching is inadvisable.” His gaze flicks to mine, but I can’t read it.

“So, think of me like I’m a client.” I brighten. A little bit of cheer never hurt anyone, right?

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