Page 87 of Just My Ex

Don’t judge. Mommy deafness is a real thing, okay?

Besides, this is what I wanted, I remind myself. I wanted to get back to my real life in Irvine, and here I am, getting back to real life.

I just don’t want that anymore.

When Navie starts saying, through the squeak of the windshield wipers, “I forgot Flubbers,” it dawns on me. In her litter of soft, squishy stuffed puppies, there’s one named Flubbers.

I ease my foot over the brake and pull into the nearest parking lot.

“Did you leave Flubbers at Grammy and Grandpa’s house?” I ask, putting the rental in park.

She shakes her head “no,” and I unbuckle my seatbelt.

“Did you drop him down here somewhere?” Now I’ve got her car door open and I’m riffling through bags of toys and other items I brought to entertain her.

“No. LaLa has him.”

“Stella? Aunt Stella?”

“LaLa sewed him, Mommy.”

I check the time on my phone. Longdale is an hour away. If you count the time it will take to chat with Stella awhile and drive both ways, it’s a two-and-a-half-hour trip. I’m due to be at the airport with a healthy cushion in three hours.

I spoil Navie, I know I do. And ever since the divorce, it’s been a little more my go-to.

“We don’t have time to go get Flubbers and go to the children’s museum. We can’t do both.” The rain is tickling my arms in light drops. I lean down so I can look her in the eye and hope she understands. “Do you want to go get Flubbers now and then go get on the plane? Or do you want Stella to send him in the mail and we go to the museum and then the plane?”

She doesn’t hesitate. She is, after all, her father’s daughter. Willful.

“Go get Flubbers now.” Her eyes begin to fill with tears.

I shoot out a breath. “Okay. Let’s go get Flubbers. That was kind of Stella to sew him for us.”

I don’t exactly have time or the ability to do stuffed animal repair, so I’m grateful to Stella for helping us out. I get back in the car and reroute, then call Stella.

“Oh, I completely forgot about that little dog,” she says. “He’s on my sewing table. I’ll put him in the mail.”

“Well, I have time to kill, so I thought, why not come back and save you the trouble.”

“If you’re sure, that’d be great. It will be good to see you again.”

I can’t explain it, but there’s something comforting about seeing Stella one more time before we head back home.

Maybe it’s my way of holding onto Henry a little longer.

If I can’t have him in my life fully, even more deeply than the years we were together, I guess the next best thing is to get to be on the fringes of him, his childhood, his life.

Forty-five minutes later, I pull into Stella’s driveway, the rain and the wipers slashing across the windshield in tandem. My phone buzzes, but I leave it in its charging station and get Navie out of her car seat.

It buzzes again with a phone call that I can’t answer in time because getting kids out of their car seats is not for the faint of heart.

When I can check my phone, I see I’ve missed two calls. One from Elianna and one from the resort’s main number.

I slide it in my back pocket and walk hand in hand with Navie up Stella’s front walk to her lava rock trimmed rambler with dark blue doors.

“Come in out of the rain,” she says with a smile. We’re no sooner seated in Stella’s front room and sipping on glasses of sparkling grape juice when Elianna calls again. I excuse myself and head outside to Stella’s front porch.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

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